What does it look like to recover and reverse your desensitization.
I thought I’d show you what this looks like here today. And make some silly puns at the same time.
Ready? So, let’s focus first on
Stage 1 – realize that desensitization is the cause of the problem
This is where most guys are today. They know they are having issues. Their penis isn’t getting as hard as it did before.
Or they have trouble coming. It’s grind away time with not much feeling and not able to close the deal.
Or they come too fast and it’s over so quick. How embarrassing to shoot your wad so fast and the dick goes limp and she hasn’t had much time yet to even warm up.
Or, perhaps the dick isn’t getting hard at all.
Or it’s only hard for masturbation and not for intercourse.
Or maybe it takes so much work on her part to get the dick hard that it’s like climbing Mount Everest for something that should be fun and easy, right?
No wonder guys have so many problems today and think they are going downhill and need chemicals to pep them up. It’s because
Big pharma has given us a cock and bull story.
(Aahaha, pun intended).
One big drug company accidentally discovered Viagra and how quickly they realized, hey we can make ten bucks every time a guy wants to stick it in his girl. At an average of almost twice a week that’ like seventy bucks a month.
(All the other big drug companies soon came up with similar drugs, what are called in the drug industry “me too” drugs because those other drugs compete with Viagra as in “me too, I keep men hard too, take me instead of Viagra” but these all work the same exact way Viagra works, although some may cause fewer or more side effects or last longer.)
(By the way, guys who make it through my method end up having sex every day, several times a day, or every other day…and for 30 or 60 minutes, not the average of under 3 minutes.)
That Viagra discovery and profit calculation was the beginning of the end for guys who aren’t being told the truth. In working with guys I find that
ED pills make desensitization worse
The pills may not cause desensitization to get worse, but they cause a man to engage in the same type of sex and this perhaps is the reason that with the pills, guys often tend to get worse. The pills work for awhile, but they don’t increase the pleasure or sensation, and ultimately erection problems are worse. And stuff like “I can’t come easily” gets worse…
And, after all, the docs themselves are well meaning. I don’t blame the docs for this. They go through medical school without knowing dick about this problem or its cause (pun intended again) because the drug companies call the shots in terms of research and education.
And drug companies don’t want doctors to know the truth either.
So the docs often have the problem themselves. Often. I can’t tell you how many medical guys I’ve spoken to and helped change their life. They are as surprised as anyone to learn about desensitization.
And it’s all because the real cause is being kept from guys. It’s a big conspiracy in my opinion.
So now a guy knows the problem, so the next step is to move to stage 2 and
Stop porn viewing, fantasy and masturbation (for awhile)
Porn viewing is what causes a lot of dick problems. If you view porn even once a week, or even once a month, and you are not happy with your erections, then you must cut out the porn.
And it isn’t just porn. It’s also just seeing a parade of novel women, surfing personal ads or dating sites. Getting triggers from ads on TV or billboards or emails or Facebook.
It’s challenging stuff. When someone hasn’t recovered and they say, “Matt, I quit porn etc.” I ask them about fantasy and usually this is the culprit.
Fantasy is to the reptile brain the same as something real. But it’s much more intense than something real.
I mean, in the real world I stick my penis in her vagina and we dwell together and it ain’t like the porn scenes.
Plus, I have the same woman that I stick my penis in, not different ones. My brain as a man is very sensitive to seeing a parade of hot fake or unavailable women and it loses sensitivity to my real woman when it sees to many of those fake hotties.
It’s something I never understood before. Because my brain was so desensitized for like the past zillion years that I never noticed it.
Now I notice this effect a lot. I was explaining this to a friend yesterday. I don’t like looking at sexy photos of women because I am so aware of how it affects my perceptions and pleasures with my real woman.
I love looking at a pretty girl, of course. And I do all the time. But I avoid looking at photos, two dimensional images, anything that triggers a sexual thought and that isn’t real.
It just messes up my perceptions and my feelings. And it is doing the same to you but you may not be aware of it yet.
So now fortunately stage 3 happens…
Become much more attractive to women…and begin having a much better time with sex
This is when you get the fact that partner sex and masturbation are so different.
Partner sex becomes really fantastic again. And masturbation has lost its attraction.
Quite frankly, it can get to a point where you don’t masturbate at all.
Not because you are trying not to, but because it is so satisfying having this time with your penis in her vagina and soaking her up that it’s just not even interesting anymore to masturbate.
And the women all over become so much more attracted to you and start giving you signals everywhere.
I’m nothing special in the looks department. And even I can’t go out without some woman giving me a signal, perhaps touching my shoulder at the restaurant like happened the other day. Or giving me a frank stare and tossing her hair.
It’s not like I’m anything incredible looking either. It’s just the power of normal male sexual energy.
Women aren’t used to basking in a man’s built up (normal) sexual energy
They are used to guys who spill their seed at every opportunity and guys who can’t get it up, and guys who are so porn-ified.
Of course there are plenty of virile men but the percentage today is way down.
So you stand out at this point (pun intended, LOL.) You really do. (Note to young guys: get with it, you have an edge in the looks department but older guys who recover are going to be eating your lunch.)
It’s amazing how much confidence you show at this point, even if you are normally somewhat inhibited, shy or reserved.
It doesn’t matter if shy, reserved or even timid is your outward personality.
Inside, your reptile brain is back into balance and it’s a naturally confident brain, and one that just wants to love and make love.
Your reptile brain is now completely confident and it puts out pheromones and confidence signals that women pick up on without your having to do anything, think anything or be anything but who you are.
It’s at this point that I find
Men are surprised to discover how confident they become
It’s striking, and this confidence isn’t about just being confident with women.
Here’s a huge secret of attraction and it doesn’t matter if it’s re-attracting your wife to wake her up sexually or landing a gorgeous girlfriend who really digs on you.
The secret is that women are attracted to men who are confident with other men.
That’s right. If you are confident in your dealings with other men, women will be all over you.
And what makes you confident with men and with women is that same male sexual energy.
It surges in you and makes you feel like a total winner. And men get out of your way. They defer to you. They respect you even if you don’t say a word. You don’t have to say a word, they get these signals automatically.
This is what makes you more alpha if you want to call it that. And that attracts women and makes you even more alpha, in a virtuous circle.
There is a lot more to all this. But what you may want to do is head over to my From Dead Down There to Raging Sexual Confidence webinar which I’m able to give, thanks to my publisher allowing me to. Click to see what it’s all about.
And please leave a comment, question or concern here. Thank you
Men always ask me, Matt, how do I have sex for 30 minutes or longer? And how do I do that in a way that wakes up the girl, gets us both off a lot, for a long time?
Lots of these guys will go on to say, “my dick’s not as hard anymore, I don’t have morning wood as often, what’s up with that? And the sensation isn’t there…”
Well, my answer is to start with ejaculation.
Yes, the truth is this.
As us guys ejaculate, the more often we do it, the more power we lose UNLESS we ejaculate having sex “a certain way.”
That certain way is having sex a long time, with exquisite pleasure, for 10 minutes, 30 minutes, or an hour. You come when you are ready, and when she’s had 2, 3 or 10 orgasms.
Why does this work? Because
Long pleasurable sex builds up Oxytocin in your brain and body…
Oxytocin makes harder erections, makes you last longer, increases sensation. It even helps you lose weight and it lowers your stress levels. It is magic for reversing depression and anxiety issues.
I want you to take this test now to see how ejaculation affects you. It’s a short, easy test.
Day 1 – ejaculate 3 times. If you can. If you can’t, try once or twice. The more the merrier. Solo or with a partner.
Day 2 – ejaculate 3 times or as often as you can. Again, solo or with a partner.
Day 3 – how do you feel? How are your energy levels? How do you perceive women?
Day 3, 4 and 5, I want you to NOT ejaculate. At all. If you are “edging”, or masturbating in any way to porn with or without orgasm, don’t do it on Day 3, 4 and 5.
Now, on Day 5 – how do you feel? How are your energy levels? How do you perceive women?
This is so eye opening it will change your life.
Then, I want you to attend my upcoming free web training. Click here to register NOW. We only have 1000 slots and many are already taken.
P.S. Write any comments or questions you have about this test, or that you’d like me to talk about on the web training.
P.P.S. I’ll be covering:
* how can you feel exquisite sensation? I’ll lay it all out for you, and why you shouldn’t have to give up self pleasuring either…
* How you can become super attractive to girls so they signal their interest in you first? The system I’ll outline will show you how to effortlessly put off invisible signals that get girls excited about you, and get them to signal interest in you FIRST. Works even for your wife or GF.
* How can you get your wife or GF out of her rut so she gets totally turned on now and forever (this works even if you and she are bored or you don’t find her attractive anymore.)
* How can you get your equipment working again? Step by step, with completely new methods I’ve discovered…
A lot of guys ask me, Matt what’s your biggest trick in the “get hard and stay hard” department so I thought I’d spell it out here.
I figure all guys get older and they think, ain’t it natural to lose male potency, have the occasional limp dick?
I used to think so but now I know better. It’s not natural. And you can be 90 and have a hard dick. And more importantly, you can be any age and have good strong erections and feel incredible sensation.
But let me get something out of the way about myself. Lots of guys say, how about them pills? They kinda work, so what’s the problem?
I don’t agree. I’m not saying they’re bad. It’s just that pills aren’t for me.
So I dumped all those pills and started getting hard naturally
I got rid of all my pills maybe 8 or 9 years ago. I am in my 50s and the only pills I take are supplements I buy off Amazon. I don’t take a single prescription medication and haven’t other than maybe an antibiotic once in a blue moon.
I’m healthy as a horse today and I think a reason I’m healthy is I don’t need pills from the doctor.
So even if those Viagra tabs had worked for me, I wouldn’t have taken them. They didn’t, I didn’t, and so it wasn’t an issue.
Turns out, those Viagra/Cialis/Levitra pills only “work” for 6 out of 10 guys…and they do NOT make you feel more sensation in your penis.
So here’s my life today. I get more booty than I ever did in my whole life. And I feel more than I ever did.
Booty call almost every morning and often at night too
This morning as usual my wife and I had sex and here I will sound like I’m bragging but I’m not. We have sex most mornings and it can be quick, like 15 minutes, or slow, like an hour or longer. I stay hard the entire time and the real point is this.
In the old days 10 minutes was a lot, but today 15 minutes is very short and an hour is often the case.
But it isn’t just that. Because…
What good is a hard cock if you aren’t feeling much?
It’s the sensations that I feel today that are a really important part of the story.
The sensations and feeling are off the charts. I never had that in my whole life until I learned this stuff I’m telling you about. I draw the pleasure up into my whole body and it’s like this orgasmic strength all through my body for 10, 20 30 minutes, whatever.
And this has led to something else. I always loved my wife but…
When we first met, I was all over my girl, like every girl I dated. I pawed her, we’d get down whereever we were, and I’d practically tear her clothes off. It was horny city 24 by 7.
But as our relationship matured, that kinda stopped. And although I’m a horndog, we’re doing it like twice a week. And that’s more than my married friends.
From loving her to that “tear off her clothes” feeling — the secret to forever love?
It isn’t that empty peck-on-the-cheek love.
For the last few years, since I discovered this crazy little exercise, we are at it like rabbits almost every day, in the mornings usually although sometimes in the late afternoon.
It’s what has made me firmly totally wildly in love with my wife and we’re together more than 20 years. I can’t get enough of her, and she’s very sexy and has a great bod and people say she looks younger. She’s shy about admitting it, but all this sex is keeping her younger. I’m convinced of it.
And it’s great for me. I grow hair faster. My cock seems bigger, honestly. I feel this testosterone surge all the time. I get semis constantly. It’s fantastic for my productivity in business, and I just beat other guys totally and love winning more than ever before.
But let’s get back to talking about hard cocks and how to get them
Here’s a key point: it’s not just about “performance.”
In fact, you can have the hardest dick in the neighborhood and what good is it if you feel nothing in it? I found in fact that a fairly soft hardon is better for real pleasure than a rock hard rigid rod you can hang a towel on. So I have a great hard-on with great feeling this morning as always.
In fact I draw the pleasure up into my whole body (what I call pleasure centering) and it’s like off the charts amazing. I can’t tell you how it is, it is just beyond words.
So enough about my bragging. Just wanted to tell you where I am today, ‘k?
Now how bad was it?
I lost my good hard erections and my sensitivity very early…
Alright, so I got my desensitization really early. Very early, very young, I was cruising the bookstore and I discovered pornography in the bookstore. I could actually buy this at age like 9 and I was a total nerd so I did.
I was wanking it already quite a lot, I can’t remember how often but sometimes 6 or 8 times a day.
Then a year or so later and we move to another part of L.A. and I meet this kid Duke. Duke’s got rich parents although his dad’s a total A-hole and even Duke is really a butt-head to be honest. Duke shows me his dad’s collection of diddlejuice videos — porn videos. Those were the days of big expensive VCRs and almost nobody had them but Duke’s dad had one.
And Duke and I would watch. And I’d wank to porn…video porn now…storing up images and wanking it later. (I was too scared to wank with Duke, although he told me he and his friends would circle jerk together in the basement…)
So years later…
She wrapped her lips over it, and looked up at me, on her knees with those baby blue eyes and lips wrapped tightly around my cock. She could of removed the chrome from a trailer hitch. She was good. And she made these sucking sounds with her lips going over my cock, and deep into her throat.
But Dr. Willie wasn’t up to the prescription. Not much anyway.
We finally did the deed but it wasn’t easy. And it wasn’t all that smokin’ either. And that was a good outcome for me in those days.
So I was one of the early victims of the criminal called desensitization. That serial killer of feeling and rock hard erections.
Why hasn’t your doctor told you about the real cause of bad erections, going soft and not feeling sensation?
Haven’t heard of it as the cause of erection problems, and premature ejaculation, and difficulty even having an orgasm? Hasn’t your doctor told you about desensitization?
It is THE cause of penis problems.
The big drug companies brainwash me, you and everyone else…
Now, all guys have an occasional problem I suppose. I used to. But never, not once, ever does this happen to me anymore. I can go and go, and then go again, and here’s why.
This crazy little exercise that brought back my hard-ons and restored my pleasure
I did this silly, crazy little exercise. I didn’t come up with it. I didn’t discover it. I stumbled on it and I’ll tell you how sometime but not now.
I figured out that wanking to porn was a big part of causing my desensitization. Duh. So I stopped. I replaced the wanking that was desensitizing with a crazy little exercise that increases sensitivity.
Hey if you’re going to wank, why not go forward rather than backwards?
And I stopped what was hurting my desensitization so I’d regain my sword with women, the sword I never really felt the way I should have.
Now here’s what happened…
Everything got really, really good. In the sex department and in every other area of my life. I was always good at making money but not good at keeping it. Now the money has just been flowing in. And life is so much easier. There is an ease to everything, even the bad stuff like aging parents and worrying about my kids…it’s all so much easier.
Anyway that’s my story. If you want this for yourself, watch this video in full.
Prior to quitting porn, I had indulged in some pretty unpleasant fantasies.
I was worried that I had somehow permanently linked sexual arousal to these unsavory behaviors I was fantasizing about.
I required these fantasies to become aroused and orgasm during sex with my wife.
I couldn’t penetrate her face to face; I think it was too hard for me to project her into the fantasies that way.
Intuitively I think I understood this, but it was impossible to change while I was using porn.
A lot of men are like Joel.
Joel uses porn, sure.
But he doesn’t masturbate to porn. Instead…
Joel stores up porn scenes that appeal to his brain, and re-enacts them to get hard and stay hard with his wife Karen
He finds that when he has sex with his wife Karen, he has to bring up these porn scenes into his mind to get hard.
And in order to come.
Otherwise, he may go and go and not feel much.
But Karen will eventually get tired of the pounding away and she’ll think, when will Joel finish? Rolling of eyes…
And after a bit, she won’t be all that interested in sex with Joel.
And for poor Joel, without those porn scene fantasies, he can barely get hard anymore.
But Joel gets plenty hard when he watches his favorite porn scenes
It’s not his fault.
His brain has gotten wired to porn.
And that has desensitized his brain to “regular” sex.
But how bad is this, really?
Can fantasies and porn interfere with sex with your partner?
There are two problems with relying on porn and fantasy to get hard or to come.
Problem #1: It feels distancing. It is a barrier to intimacy. The closeness that you desire and want so much isn’t there when you are fantasizing a three way with three 18 year olds…
Problem #2: The sexual problems become worse and worse.
Even if your porn tastes don’t escalate.
Even if the same porn still does it for you.
Many guys find their brains get used to the porn they’re into, and they escalate to more extreme forms of porn in order for their brains to respond as before…like needing a higher and higher dose of heroin to get off…
Alfred started with tame pix from Playboy, and over the years moved up to different genres…today’s high speed video porn has hurt Alfred’s brain and he’s gotten hooked on gay porn even though he’s not gay.
Not all guys escalate. Keep in mind, you can get porn induced erectile dysfunction and problems coming even if you don’t escalate!
And…this is all totally reversible and you can fix all this…don’t worry…
Fantasy and porn make it hard to get hard, and hard to come…but luckily…
It’s all fixable!
Keep in mind, the damage is temporary.
And it applies even if you don’t masturbate, but only look at porn.
The sexual problems include:
So, if you find you need fantasy to get hard or stay hard, it might help you if you realize this is not a great thing, and you you decide to do something about it.
The other side of this, when its fixed, is:
Great erections any time any place, any positions, any possibility
Even if you have health problems, are 80 years old, and overweight
You will get great erections and keep them for as long as needed…
What’s stopping you is often the porn fantasies.
Please write a comment or question. Thank you!
Okay, Matt Cook here. Got many notes from readers and today want to answer this one from “Brad”
“My problem is premature e. How do I cure this trouble of mine? What are its major causes?”
Drop everything and watch this video now that explains things.
…we’re doing an upcoming class and we’ll be talking about this in some more depth. (The class will be free so look for an invite just after Christmas.)
There are really two types of PE.
One type is what I call “virgin PE” and it’s where you have a very young inexperienced man who comes immediately because he’s new to intercourse and gets too excited too fast.
There is another form of PE with experienced guys and this can be due to desensitization.
Three things can really help.
1. Slow down. A lot of this stuff can go away when you savor your partner and take a lot of time.
When you get into this fast mode it can be incredibly exciting and the excitement takes you off the charts in a hurry and BAM you’re done.
So slow down instead.
2. Relax the muscles in the pelvic floor These muscles are tensed up when you come, and if you relax them consciously you won’t come so fast.
They are the same muscles you exercise when you do “Kegels”.
Focusing on these muscles, what I call the “root” is a key to having a great time and not going over the edge too quickly.
3. Breathe When you are about to come you have short shallow breaths.
When you don’t want to come, try breathing from your belly and take slow, deep breaths. Very slow, and deep from your belly — this will help you avoid falling over the edge and ending the fun early.
Stay tuned for a training class we’ll be doing soon on this and more.
And if you have a question, hit REPLY and ask.
Meanwhile go here now and watch this video: