Stop trying to get an erection – and get an erection

What does it look like to recover and reverse your desensitization.

I thought I’d show you what this looks like here today. And make some silly puns at the same time.

Ready? So, let’s focus first on

Stage 1 – realize that desensitization is the cause of the problem

This is where most guys are today. They know they are having issues. Their penis isn’t getting as hard as it did before. 

Or they have trouble coming. It’s grind away time with not much feeling and not able to close the deal. 

Or they come too fast and it’s over so quick. How embarrassing to shoot your wad so fast and the dick goes limp and she hasn’t had much time yet to even warm up.

pretty asian girl

Or, perhaps the dick isn’t getting hard at all.

Or it’s only hard for masturbation and not for intercourse.

Or maybe it takes so much work on her part to get the dick hard that it’s like climbing Mount Everest for something that should be fun and easy, right?

No wonder guys have so many problems today and think they are going downhill and need chemicals to pep them up. It’s because

Big pharma has given us a cock and bull story.

(Aahaha, pun intended).

One big drug company accidentally discovered Viagra and how quickly they realized, hey we can make ten bucks every time a guy wants to stick it in his girl. At an average of almost twice a week that’ like seventy bucks a month.

(All the other big drug companies soon came up with similar drugs, what are called in the drug industry “me too” drugs because those other drugs compete with Viagra as in “me too, I keep men hard too, take me instead of Viagra” but these all work the same exact way Viagra works, although some may cause fewer or more side effects or last longer.)

(By the way, guys who make it through my method end up having sex every day, several times a day, or every other day…and for 30 or 60 minutes, not the average of under 3 minutes.)

That Viagra discovery and profit calculation was the beginning of the end for guys who aren’t being told the truth. In working with guys I find that

ED pills make desensitization worse

The pills may not cause desensitization to get worse, but they cause a man to engage in the same type of sex and this perhaps is the reason that with the pills, guys often tend to get worse. The pills work for awhile, but they don’t increase the pleasure or sensation, and ultimately erection problems are worse. And stuff like “I can’t come easily” gets worse…

And, after all, the docs themselves are well meaning. I don’t blame the docs for this. They go through medical school without knowing dick about this problem or its cause (pun intended again) because the drug companies call the shots in terms of research and education.

And drug companies don’t want doctors to know the truth either.

pretty asian girl non porn

So the docs often have the problem themselves. Often. I can’t tell you how many medical guys I’ve spoken to and helped change their life. They are as surprised as anyone to learn about desensitization.

And it’s all because the real cause is being kept from guys. It’s a big conspiracy in my opinion.

So now a guy knows the problem, so the next step is to move to stage 2 and 

Stop porn viewing, fantasy and masturbation (for awhile)

Porn viewing is what causes a lot of dick problems. If you view porn even once a week, or even once a month, and you are not happy with your erections, then you must cut out the porn.

And it isn’t just porn. It’s also just seeing a parade of novel women, surfing personal ads or dating sites. Getting triggers from ads on TV or billboards or emails or Facebook.

It’s challenging stuff. When someone hasn’t recovered and they say, “Matt, I quit porn etc.” I ask them about fantasy and usually this is the culprit.

Fantasy is to the reptile brain the same as something real. But it’s much more intense than something real.

I mean, in the real world I stick my penis in her vagina and we dwell together and it ain’t like the porn scenes.

romantic couple

Plus, I have the same woman that I stick my penis in, not different ones. My brain as a man is very sensitive to seeing a parade of hot fake or unavailable women and it loses sensitivity to my real woman when it sees to many of those fake hotties.

It’s something I never understood before. Because my brain was so desensitized for like the past zillion years that I never noticed it.

Now I notice this effect a lot. I was explaining this to a friend yesterday. I don’t like looking at sexy photos of women because I am so aware of how it affects my perceptions and pleasures with my real woman.

I love looking at a pretty girl, of course. And I do all the time. But I avoid looking at photos, two dimensional images, anything that triggers a sexual thought and that isn’t real.

It just messes up my perceptions and my feelings. And it is doing the same to you but you may not be aware of it yet.

So now fortunately stage 3 happens…

Become much more attractive to women…and begin having a much better time with sex

This is when you get the fact that partner sex and masturbation are so different.

Partner sex becomes really fantastic again. And masturbation has lost its attraction.

Quite frankly, it can get to a point where you don’t masturbate at all.

Not because you are trying not to, but because it is so satisfying having this time with your penis in her vagina and soaking her up that it’s just not even interesting anymore to masturbate.

And the women all over become so much more attracted to you and start giving you signals everywhere.

flirty girl and guy

 

I’m nothing special in the looks department. And even I can’t go out without some woman giving me a signal, perhaps touching my shoulder at the restaurant like happened the other day. Or giving me a frank stare and tossing her hair.

It’s not like I’m anything incredible looking either. It’s just the power of normal male sexual energy.

Because today

Women aren’t used to basking in a man’s built up (normal) sexual energy

They are used to guys who spill their seed at every opportunity and guys who can’t get it up, and guys who are so porn-ified.

Of course there are plenty of virile men but the percentage today is way down.

So you stand out at this point (pun intended, LOL.) You really do. (Note to young guys: get with it, you have an edge in the looks department but older guys who recover are going to be eating your lunch.)

cute girl and guy meeting up

It’s amazing how much confidence you show at this point, even if you are normally somewhat inhibited, shy or reserved.

It doesn’t matter if shy, reserved or even timid is your outward personality.

Inside, your reptile brain is back into balance and it’s a naturally confident brain, and one that just wants to love and make love.

Your reptile brain is now completely confident and it puts out pheromones and confidence signals that women pick up on without your having to do anything, think anything or be anything but who you are. 

It’s at this point that I find 

Men are surprised to discover how confident they become

It’s striking, and this confidence isn’t about just being confident with women.

Here’s a huge secret of attraction and it doesn’t matter if it’s re-attracting your wife to wake her up sexually or landing a gorgeous girlfriend who really digs on you.

The secret is that women are attracted to men who are confident with other men.

That’s right. If you are confident in your dealings with other men, women will be all over you.

And what makes you confident with men and with women is that same male sexual energy.

confident man over woman sexual confidence shows

 

It surges in you and makes you feel like a total winner. And men get out of your way. They defer to you. They respect you even if you don’t say a word. You don’t have to say a word, they get these signals automatically.

This is what makes you more alpha if you want to call it that. And that attracts women and makes you even more alpha, in a virtuous circle.

There is a lot more to all this. But what you may want to do is head over to my From Dead Down There to Raging Sexual Confidence webinar which I’m able to give, thanks to my publisher allowing me to. Click to see what it’s all about.

And please leave a comment, question or concern here. Thank you

warmly

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About the Author

Matt Cook

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Tony

How do I order the webnar?

Mike

Hey Matt
I am here 3:06 pm and the webnar hasen’t started.
How do I accsess the webnar.
Thak you i advance

    Matt Cook

    I’ll ask my team to investigate. Best to email our team at support at getrapidhelp.com or you can call us at 877-691-3328

    warmly

    –Matt

Micah Smith

I think this is some good advice, I have a traumatic brain injury and my injury was right on the spot in your brain that controls your ability to get aroused among various other things. My girl is moving here in the town where I live after christmas and I told her that I have this problem and she doesn’t seem to be phased by it, I’m going to try not to think about my problem when we “make love” and see if that works. I have not had sex for a very long time, but I am very strong willed and I will get back to you in some way to let you know if it worked or not. I am always limp, so i’m used to being that way. I have even learned how to masturbate with a limp dick. Hey man, when there is a will, there definately is a way!!! lol Till later sometime Matt, I can tell by your writing that you study what you write about. When I read this very article, you have inspired me to do the same on my problem. I say my because I have something wrong that I cannot control literally, not just saying that and if I can somehow allow my brain to allow me to get hard when I’m not thinking about it, I will be a very happy man. I practically gave up, but with sort of different reasons than the other readers and I am making a decision right now to study my problem, so I cabn figure out why I can’t get hard.It was alot different right before my accident, then after i woke up out of my coma, all the sudden I couldn’t do it, so I am on a mission today to figure it out and I just noticed I’m rambeling on. That’s a problem with my injury as well. I will quit now, Later!!!

Franscois

Hey MAT,I am new to your club. I was skeptical at first reading and listening to your advise. After making love to my wife this morning I can feel something is working. Relaxing and focusing on myself( unselfishly ) makes sense, I can not wait to one day reach the thirty minute mark!!!

John

Matt, I am seeing the value of what you say. I just have to convince my wife that I don’t need to “finish” or there is something wrong with her.

    Matt Cook

    or you can simply do it. “I’m not going to come this time” is sometimes all it takes. She’ll think it’s weird but, hey, it’s cool. I mean, sometimes women don’t come and us guys just deal. They can deal too!

    And it opens up a space for her. Maybe I’ll talk about this on another article.

    warmly

    –Matt

godwin

material not very comprehensible to an average english learner. need to come down to the level of ordinary english speaker

Mike

This may not work for me.I have Multipal Scrosis,and have had ED for some time now because it is a symtom of MS.Please help me.

Bob

This may be a stupid question, but how can you put your dick in your wife’s vagina if you can’t get hard?

john

I agree with your comments,but after no sex for over 20 years with my wife he mornings are limp and porn isn’t interesting and masturbation no thanks……I tried the blue pill and that might work sometimes but she is definitely not interested….( no harmonies and n HRT due to side effects and the brain can wake her up down there…What do i do?

Willie Garland

I’m recovering from hydrocelectomy operation and maybe after I recover from this, I might be able to enrol, since I’ve fought ED for quite a while, and I appreciate all the materials you’ve sent me.

garry

Good day

I didn’t make love to my girl friend for a couple of months. When I finger her or we kiss and she touches my dick I come very fast is there a way I can make myself last longer? I get frastrated to come so fast and than she didn’t even enjoy herself and it seems like she gets frastrated aswell.

Tom

All makes sense to me, but you must really love that person, or a least care for each other a great deal for it to work. This could be very difficult finding the right person. Would love to get their with the person in my life right now. How can a guy get the ball rolling, when at our ages 65 and 64, and just so much distraction in our everyday lives. We really care for one another and I know it could very good for both of us. Definitely more of a comment than question. Thanks, Tom

Recardo53

Hey Matt. Thanks for sharing it information. ED has been the elephanti my living room for years. As I have applied what I have instructed through “the Big Bang” “Staying Hard” “T-Lift-Off”. I have learned to relax, breathe from the lower part of my lungs, doing my Cagle exercises had really turned my situation around. I think that realizing I can’t make myself get or stay hard has taken a huge load off my shoulders and things work much better for me. Allowing my self to relax even of I don’t get hard I have learned to enjoy the love making and enjoy the intimate time I have and by relaxing and not focusing on the problem has set me free and usually find myself getting hard most of the time. I have found that the more I focus on getting hard the more flaccid I get but if I focue on the person I’m with and being intimate with them as well as trying to breathe from down deep & slow along with relaxing…. I do most of the time find myself getting hard and staying hard for sometime. If I spence I’m loosing the erection I just think oh we no big deal and it’s not long till it’s getting back hard again. For me the secret it to allow him to do what he wants to do and excusing myself from being in control. If it gets hard it’s all good. If it don’t get hard I dint beat myself up anymore cause that does make things worse. Giving up control works for me. Hoe what I’ve shared helps someone else to let go. I haven’t totally arrived. But not blaming or beating myself up because I can’t perform has set me free. I no longer think of performance anymore. I focus on the intimate time I have and go with the glow. No agenda. Each time is a little different. Also makes it more interesting not knowing exactly what is going to happen. Keeps a little spotinately in makes it more interesting as well as keeps me from getting caught up in a rut which is what causes things to get full and boring and routein.
Thanks Matt u have helped me tremendously. I’m very grateful for u and sooo glad I came across your material.

Recardo53

    Matt Cook

    Wow, this is exactly my experience as well. It totally helps to be in the moment and be okay with what “he” is doing or not. And this spills out over the rest of life and is like a new way to live that is so wonderful and brings so much peace and prosperity.

    Recardo, it keeps getting BETTER in every way from here. You are in for exciting and wonderful times. It is hard to believe sometimes how much better life keeps getting when you live this way.

    Thank you for your wonderful thoughts on this and I appreciate you sharing here.

    warmly

    –Matt

Dennis

Interesting thoughts, question though Matt, how does one who writes for a living compose ideas into text form for others to read if he has no control over his own thoughts? You mention the inspiring book from Napolean Hill, “Think and Grow Rich”. Another author worth reading, David Shwartz, wrote, “The Magic of Thing Big” and still another one I highly recommend is “Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires” by Ester & Jerry Hicks and Dr. Wayne Dyer. They all have a common theme, learn to control your vibration by turning your focus away from negative ideas and thoughts. So I’m trying to understand better what you mean when you state that we have no control over our thoughts?
Another question, you stated contradicting ideas one after the other, “I happen to believe that bad things happen for a reason. I believe that there are really no bad things. Of course there are bad things in the world.” so my question is, which stance do you really take, bad things happen or they don’t? Also at the beginning of your article you wrote that you can’t control your thoughts, I’ve read this article several times and pondered over it as you suggested. If I think about the details of the last time I made love with my woman I can get hard, so how is that not controlling an erection through my thoughts?
I think, and there’s my problem according to you? What kind of message are you sending?

    Matt Cook

    Dennis, these are great points so let me answer them one by one.

    Interesting thoughts, question though Matt, how does one who writes for a living compose ideas into text form for others to read if he has no control over his own thoughts? You mention the inspiring book from Napolean Hill, “Think and Grow Rich”. Another author worth reading, David Shwartz, wrote, “The Magic of Thing Big” and still another one I highly recommend is “Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires” by Ester & Jerry Hicks and Dr. Wayne Dyer. They all have a common theme, learn to control your vibration by turning your focus away from negative ideas and thoughts. So I’m trying to understand better what you mean when you state that we have no control over our thoughts?
    —-

    I don’t think you control any of it, but sometimes it seems you do. The reality is that molecules move around our brains and give us the illusion of control. But those thoughts appear, and then disappear, on their own volition. There is the sense of “I” doing these things.

    The information that you manifest what comes into your life, like the messages in the books you mention, is helpful to a point. It can be very helpful. But it’s more to me a way to play with these ideas and try them out without taking them too seriously.

    I can distract myself from a thought sometimes, and that is helpful. I can focus my attention on this, not that, and that is helpful. But if I give up the idea that I control my thoughts, that frees me a great deal from feeling shame, guilt or frustration. And it opens up new ways of seeing what happens to me, ways that don’t involve a deadening weight that if things are going wrong, it’s because I’m not manifesting enough, or doing things right…

    —-
    Another question, you stated contradicting ideas one after the other, “I happen to believe that bad things happen for a reason. I believe that there are really no bad things. Of course there are bad things in the world.” so my question is, which stance do you really take, bad things happen or they don’t?
    —-

    They appear to be bad because we’re arguing with them and we can’t see the greater whole, God’s plan, whatever you want to call it. But if something happens that is “bad” it’s a shorthand way to express something that causes us to suffer, although it may not be “really” bad.

    The best way to frame everything in life is seeing “it is happening for a reason” and then questioning the thoughts or beliefs that are perhaps causing you to suffer.

    For instance, if I can’t get hard I can say, “what is it in my life that is causing me to suffer” and I might discover that there is a message for me in that lack of erection. Maybe I’m out of the moment and thinking of an imaginary future. Or maybe I have some disorder in my life that needs to be addressed.


    Also at the beginning of your article you wrote that you can’t control your thoughts, I’ve read this article several times and pondered over it as you suggested. If I think about the details of the last time I made love with my woman I can get hard, so how is that not controlling an erection through my thoughts?
    I think, and there’s my problem according to you? What kind of message are you sending?

    Getting hard just happens. It may appear that you “got yourself hard” but I believe that is another illusion. Once we understand the “wisdom of the penis” and surrender to it, then we can just make love and happen to get hard and it’s great. Or we make love and happen not to get hard and that’s okay too.

    I find that I prefer getting hard and usually I do, and that’s wonderful. But if I don’t, I no longer suffer.

    warmly

    –Matt

MATTHEW

I’m reading this three times today Matt. You are right in what you say. I’m 38 yrs old, married with two small children. I was attracted to girls as far back as I remember and I too started using pornography at age 9. When I attempted intercourse at age 14, my penis was mostly flaccid. The problem has continued on and off through to the present day. I am very interested in what you write here.

Bill

Okay Matt I’m registering for the webinar. I had a biopsy the other day of my prostate and missed it, so I’m glad you are offering it one more day. I love your material and this is simply great.

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