erections come and go – why? And why no desire for my wife?
I’m a 54 yo man. I’ve been dealing with this for the last 20 yrs.
I believe a lot of my problem began due to lack of feeling desired from my wife which left me feeling what is wrong with me.
I’m currently divorced 2 half yrs now.
Last 10 yrs I went through. Clinical depression taking 2 anti-depressants which killed my drive & erections after divorcing I came off my anti-depressants. T
hat helped some. But still deal with ED. My Dr says I have profermance anxiety.
I get night erections multiple times a night for a few weeks then it’s like they leave me for a few weeks.
When I go to have sex with someone; most of the time I get erected then lose it & sometimes I don’t ever get up.
I’ve learned Levitra works best for my with the BP meds & cholerterole meds I take but still not a guantaree either.
I do have low testerstone had gotten down to 222 and currently taking Andor-Gel 1.62% and been on it a yr now which brought my T levels back up to 755.
Suppose to use 3 pumps daily.
But have backed down to 1 pump daily. I’ve been on this a yr now & starting to notice my testicles starting to shrink.
With the Andro-gel not boosting my sex drive nor helping with erections I’m wondering why take this. I can’t tell it’s helped me any is why I have backed off this own my own.
When I’m having regular night time erections the sensentitivity in my penis is better.
Still not great.
But when I’m not noticing or waking with night erections the sensivity is less. It’s rare when I really feet Horney. I’d love to feel this on a regular basis again. Can u help me? I sure hope so.
Rick, here’s what I see when I read your note.
I see a guy who has some underlying metabolic problem that leads to all sorts of health issues.
The doctors treat just the symptoms. Their approach:
Your testosterone is low, so take testosterone hormones. You aren’t getting good erections, so take Levitra.
I’m in my 50s also and I’m fortunate that I found out how this works. I’m taking nothing and haven’t for years. It’s because I’ve figured out what the causes of these problems are.
If you fix the cause, you an eliminate the need to take anything. And it’s far better because you are healthier, live happier and avoid medication and side effects.
So what is the underlying medical issue? I am hopelessly unqualified to determine that. But it is safe to say that your body is out of balance and I will let you in on one secret right here that can change everything.
Speaking of which, I don’t buy the doctor’s explanation about performance anxiety either. All the total symptoms you talk about:
Lack of desire for your wife (if I understood that correctly)
Poor erections and inconsistent erections
Blood pressure issues
These can all be fixed when you change your lifestyle just a bit.
I address all this in my T Liftoff Formula home study course, so I won’t get into it here. That course shows you in a series of videos how to raise your testosterone, end the need for blood pressure meds and cholesterol meds, and get a lot more sensitivity in your penis. Better erections. More desire.
I want to talk specifically in the remaining part here about the angle of inconsistent erections.
You should wake up with an erection every morning. If you don’t something may be wrong
Yes, every day, a man should wake up with a strong morning erection. Morning wood as us guys often call it.
(I wonder if the Beatles had this in mind with Norwegian Wood, LOL…)
Morning wood is a very good diagnostic tool. If you aren’t having it, it tells you that your hormones are a bit out of whack. You might miss a day here or there, but overall it is quite important to consistently have morning erections.
Now let’s talk a key point on hormone levels.
Hormone levels are very complicated and not what people and doctors think.
The hormone that can fix almost everything — and no it’s not testosterone
Of all the important hormones perhaps none is more important to desire and performance as Oxytocin.
Oxytocin, the hormone of that strong loving feeling you have for someone.
Oxytocin love brings the deepest level of joy and desire for someone.
Oxytocin builds strong erections.
It shortens the time between when you can come and then get another erection and come again.
It increases your sensitivity off the charts.
Then a companion hormone is quite important to. I’m talking…
…dopamine, the hormone of want and needing someone or something. Dopamine = want.
Dopamine driven behaviors cause us to smoke, drink, gamble, eat, have sex, ask a woman out, buy a new iPhone. Dopamine is a fine hormone because it’s fun to want someone physically right now.
But dopamine also creates the “pleasure pain” meaning with the pleasure of wanting, comes the pain afterwards. It’s done. Over. Never as good as I thought it would be.
Don’t build your life around dopamine…
So dopamine is not a dependable hormone to build your life around. It’s something to watch.
The more of something you want, and the more you physically feel that wanting…well that’s dopamine.
You may notice when you lust after someone or something…how you are breathing faster, your heart speeds up, and how you are hyped up…that’s true if you lust after a girl or a new iPhone. It’s exactly the same.
It’s all dopamine.
And to a smaller degree dopamine drives you to check your email or Facebook account all during the day, or your text messages. Something new might be there. Something new is there! It’s a little spurt of dopamine in the brain.
Dopamine behaviors are addictive. They’re all about addiction.
But we need dopamine. I like being addicted to food, drink and sex, or I’d die. Dopamine is cool but you don’t want it in the driver’s seat. You don’t want dopamine running your life.
There are a bunch more hormones but here is what I want to really say here. Consistent erections and morning wood every morning…zero problems getting and staying hard…being able to last a long time…feeling great desire for your girlfriend or wife…this is made possible by one thing.
Increase the oxytocin in your brain, and you will usually have consistent desire, erections and performance
At this point, you’re saying, “hey can I get Oxytocin and take it like a pill?”
Nope, unfortunately. It’s available as a nasal spray but a really bad idea to take it.
But you can’t take oxytocin hormone up your nose (it comes as a nasal spray) and have it do any good. You have to generate it yourself in your brain.
Awhile back after years of off and on problems I figured out how to build oxytocin consistently. These along with some simple solo activities can bring everything back.
And surprisingly enough, bringing up your Oxytocin will fix depression in most cases. They are very much related. Increasing Oxytocin levels makes you feel less anxious, happier, calmer, more satisfied with life.
This isn’t just my experience, it’s study after study that is showing the value of Oxytocin.
It’s really a case of being out of balance, as I wrote at the beginning of this blog post. And when a guy says “I’m not getting good morning erections, I’m feeling inconsistent, I don’t always have desire,” I think “yep, this is a low Oxytocin situation.”
Low Oxytocin = Desensitization, the cause of almost all men’s performance problems
This fact was established by scientists 25 years ago: that desensitization was the cause of erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation and difficulty ejaculating. Then someone stumbled on Viagra and game over as far as FIXING the problem for men.
Now it’s all about getting you to take more pills.That’s what the drug companies are all about, and they train the doctors and pay for all the research.
Cures? Forget it.
It’s all about getting men to take more pills.
But if you just rely upon the pills, you won’t get much pleasure as you could.
You won’t build the desire you want.
You won’t restore your body to the optimal health you are after.
You won’t have the good strong natural erections that men have a God-given right to expect.
Try the Cookster’s prescription (but always check with your doc)
Here are my concluding thoughts. Make sure you stop all masturbation and any watching of porn whatever. Those all really continue throwing your hormones out of balance. The cycle of looking at porn, or fantasizing, and masturbation, is quite harmful to your hormonal balance.
It doesn’t matter if you only VIEW porn and don’t masturbate to porn. Either way it is very desensitizing.
Also, do a lot of naked cuddling and eye gazing and hand holding with the one you love. Have long sessions of intercourse, the more the better.
And as you get older, the fewer ejaculations the better. Ejaculations drain a man. When a man is young it hardly matters but as a man gets into middle age it really takes its toll. Aim for 30 to 60 minutes of intercourse a day, with maybe one ejaculation on occasion, but not all the time.
This is what restores your sensitivity and the Oxytocin in your brain. This is what often fixes all the things you describe as far as inconsistent erections, not always having morning wood (or never having it), not feeling much, even depression and anxiety.
If you feel it would serve, register for my brand new webinar that shows you how to fix ED and get your feeling and pleasure back better than pills. Click here to see if it’s still available.
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