Stop pleasing her in bed – and why she doesn’t want sex as much as you do

This article is for you if your woman doesn’t seem to be into sex as much as you, or if Dr. Willie isn’t doing what you want him to.

It shows another way to have sex, a way that is free from pleasing her at all, and why you should pay close attention to this new way of thinking about sex, and try it for yourself.

couple on street kissing blonde girl

I’ll start with George.

George was telling me that he is fed up with trying to please her in bed.

It’s a huge burden on guys when they think they have to please their woman.

I told George this. 

And I said, “George, are you open to the idea that ends the need or desire to perform, and the need or desire to please her?”

But Matt, isn’t that selfish of me? And don’t guys love to please their women in bed?

Years ago, these guys in the East figured all this stuff out. And they figured that sex can be looked on as many things:

1. fun stuff

2. an exchange of male and female energies

3. a way to connect fully with her

And it is all those things…but 

What about sex that isn’t about porn star performance?

Somehow, though, there has been this insidious awful thing that has happened to men and women.

girl at beach black hair bathing suit

They’ve watched so much porn…that they’ve programmed their brains that they have to “perform” like porn stars.

When you get over this, you can actually please her even MORE. Because when you are trying to please her, you are putting the burden on HER to perform.

When a girl sees you trying to please her, what does she do?

“Half the time I just tell my guy that I’m fine, when I actually feel both embarrassed and frustrated. I experienced exactly the same difficulties when I was young and during my ten-year marriage, so it’s got nothing to do with my age. 

“I can tell it perplexes my boyfriend, who prides himself on being a considerate lover. I’m worried he’ll lose patience with me.”

And we wonder why girls don’t like sex as much as guys do?

Girls love sex. It is what they too live for. But a guy trying to perform puts pressure on the girl to respond. And the girl feels that pressure much more, because

Girls live to please their men, and if they aren’t pleased, they feel really bad

So it works like this:

1. Guy tries to please the girl in bed

2. She may not be entirely there, she may be there in bed physically but mentally she’s doing the laundry, worried about the older son’s being out late, or thinking about the dangers of being pregnant.

3. She sees the guy trying, and she feels really bad that she’s not responding.

4. He feels bad that his “performance” isn’t up to snuff, and he blames her for it. She’s frigid, she is shut down, she’s not into sex much, bla bla bla.

5. He doubts his own manhood and maybe his erections stop happening because the penis knows what’s going on and the penis isn’t happy when the owner isn’t trusting the penis.

brunette at beach tropical background

See, it all started with the girl and the boy discovering porn. And watching so much porn, and the porn-ified society we live in even if you aren’t watching porn…it affects expectations.

Guys think they need to perform. And that puts pressure on women and ruins it all.

How can a guy have sex without pressure to perform?

We’re all so used to the porn idea of sex … climbing up the hill, raising sexual tensions…and then at the top of the hill the blessed event of orgasm.

But what if that isn’t what sex is about at all?

What if you could have sex for an hour or more, with no pressure at all to perform?

What if pleasing her was the last thing on your mind when you were inside her?

I can hear you asking…

But isn’t it terribly selfish if you aren’t try to please her?

No, it’s not.

It’s giving and caring.

There is a difference between taking, taking, taking…and not working to please her.

girl head looking up blue sky

George described what it was like before he “got” this idea:

“We don’t have sex nearly as often as I want. And when we do, it’s routine. It’s always the same. I give her some oral, maybe she comes or maybe not. Then she’s wet and I enter her. And I usually come, frankly it only takes a few minutes and then it’s over.”

Nothing wrong with any of it. There are no rules around sex as long as both people agree, right?

True. So nothing wrong with trying to please her.

But the selfishness angle — if you aren’t just taking from her, and you aren’t trying to please her…then you are making her responsible for her own pleasure. You are no longer responsible.

Pretty interesting idea, no? And sometimes girls dig on a guy that just takes. Sometimes girls just want a guy to take charge, tell her what to do, and plow. Sometimes.

But other times, most times, you can have the best sex of your life by focusing on your own pleasure, without just being a taker.

What a huge relief this is, and your sex life turns around…and if you are having willie problems, guess what?

bottom half of girl in pool


Removing this pressure does something brilliant downstairs…erections begin coming and staying a lot longer and without all that effort or worry.

Listen to what one of my students said about this idea:


testimonial pic - Minnesota Seniro- small size

I’ve been following your advice for maybe a month now…

The member is working better then it ever has before.

My wife is up for intercourse ANYTIME and has taken to seducing me if we go more then a day without having intercourse.

This is very confusing but what the heck, it’s very wonderful too!

I think the concept you teach regarding focusing on your self was a game changer for us.

My wife is very generous and really knows how to give pleasure.

Now I just relax into it and let her know what a delightful lover she is and how much I enjoy our sexual relationship and how happy I am with our new love life and her.

She’s 55 and I’m 66.

We’ve been together for 29 years.

I can’t speak for her but my half of our love life is better than anything I’ve ever experienced before. So good that I feel guilty about feeling so happy!

(People from Minnesota are like that)

— Senior from Minnesota


It is a game changer for all of us.

By focusing on ourselves and our own pleasure, we can actually free both ourselves and our partner from the pressure to perform.

And that is where great sex and performance just happens.

Not the porn star performance, but sex that is much, much better.

If you think this is cool, here’s what you do. Click here to register for my web training on this.

And leave a comment or question that I’ll answer on the web training.


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Matt Cook

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Scott Prosser


For one thing I do not have any girlfriends yet. Besides that I also do not own any kind of credit card. Would there be any other way to buy this?

    Matt Cook

    Hi Scott! You’ll get there, but what do you think is the primary obstacle in your way of getting a girlfriend?



Scott Prosser

I am not disappointed about anything yet since I have not been engaged with anybody before. But I just wanted to point out the fact that if I was to find a beautiful woman to spend my time with I would enjoy it a lot if the two of us were to bathe or shower with each other. Also spend the day with each other while neither of us were to wear anythingat all. We would eexercise with each other while we are fully nude. Practice certain positions with each other, etc. What do you think about these ideas? Please let me know by texting me back. Thanks.


Scott Prosser

Scott Prosser

I, myself, have been trying to find a sexy white female who would be interested in a sexual engagement with me. I have never found anyone i nterrested in me. I think th oily s may be thanks to my epilepsy that I have had for nearly thirty years. I am thirty seven years old, unemployed, do not own a driver’s license, and do not do that much at all. How could I find a sexy female (younger than me) who would like to get sexy with me? Pleaseggive me your best advice. I appreciate your cooperation very much. Thanks.


Scott Prosser


I am sure that because I am a lot quick triggered is why I am now divorced. Will this program really work I am tired of scams, tired of finding nothing for good money spent!

    Matt Cook

    I feel terrible for you Elmer.

    You’ve been through Hell and back, and nobody’s told you the truth. They are either too influenced by the typical bull that the so-called “sexperts” put out, or they simply are brainwashed by the drug companies in this country.

    Honestly, the doctors only know surgery and pills.

    And the therapists are clueless about this. Clueless doesn’t even begin to express it.

    So I get it.

    I am very saddened we’re at this point, but I hope you do attend and I wish you all the best. Stay here, read what you can, and try it out. I think you’ll find it pretty helpful.

    Let me know




I have been with your program to restore goog erections and have noticed improvement with morning erections and at times I am naked with my partner. However even the thought of insertion my erection disappears like air out of a ballon.
My question is if this is normal considering the stae I am in, or is that a result of performance issues like those you are covering in this webinar?
Thank you,

    Matt Cook

    Yes, depending upon how severe the situation and a lot of other things, it does take time. The return of morning erections and improvement in other areas is a great sign.

    The web training we’re doing is DEFINITELY helpful for recovery, complete recovery. It is not necessary but a huge advantage.

    The loss of an erection is a phase…it will pass…and it will no longer be an issue, in any event. Just stay with it, do a lot of Oxytocin building activities and don’t try for an erection, just let things unfold in their natural order.




I will try this. Usually when we make love i worry if i’m pleasing her, sounds like this will take the pressure off to perform.

Charlie Tuna

how can I get that with my wife? How can I talk to her about it? This is fascinated, Matt. It really struck a cord with me. Eager to attend the webinar.

The Giant

Since menopause it seems its over. Sex isn’t comfortable she says. And she never is in the mood. I can’t accept that this is the end of our physical relationship. And I need help. Thanks Matt


I’ve had this GF for five years but at work I have totally fallen for this girl I work with.

I haven’t cheated on her — yet?

It feels perfect with her. I really am not into my GF anymore and want to have things back the way they were. Also haven’t been having good erections for the longest time.

I am torn as to what to do and i am afraid of making a move because of my GF and also my problem. Help!

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