Did masturbation cause my desensitization?

Wow! I remember discovering masturbation as a kid.


What a shameful and pleasurable thing that was.

three asian girls

And then…fast forward to today…let’s get some perspective on masturbation and how it might affect our partner performance.

(And I hate using that word “performance” but there isn’t any other way to describe “how Dr. Willie works” so I’ll continue if you don’t mind…)

This article shows you some eye opening new facts to consider about masturbation and about how it may be contributing to desensitization…

Does masturbation cause problems getting hard, staying hard, or coming too fast/slow?

Hey, obviously, masturbation is actually a wonderful thing. It is amazing what it can do for us.

  • Get to sleep
  • Feel more relaxed
  • Feel less lonely
  • Feel really good!!

But overused or overdone, or done “wrong”, it has another side to it. Here’s how Al found this out.

Al had trouble with his erections. He goes to his doc. His doc does a blood test. “Testosterone is okay,” the doc says. The doc examines Al. “Everything seems okay.”

So the doc says to Al, “hey, you’re 30 now, and as you get older, things stop working as well. Plus you have a lot of stress in your life. A lot of this problem is from anxiety.”

gilr lying on bed showing belly

The doc gives Al a prescription for a benzodiazapine Xanax that will “calm Al down”, and gives Al a scrip for Cialis.

And Al goes on his way.

Al doesn’t take the Xanax much, but he does take the Cialis pretty religiously. It seems to work okay, but after a year or two, not as well, and after 3 years, not at all.

Al wants a solution to his problem.

He doesn’t want to depend on pills or chemicals to have partner sex

 And he’s in his 30s, is it really all so down hill from here?

Al comes to me and says, “Matt, I can’t get hard, I am not able to have a good erection much anymore. My girlfriend has to constantly stimulate me to get anywhere, and then it’s all over so fast. What do I do? I’m only in my thirties, I can’t imagine why things aren’t working. And my doc says it’s performance anxiety but that doesn’t seem completely right.”

I ask, “Al, what about your masturbation habits?”

Al says, sure I masturbate. 

“Do you view porn?”

Well, not much. A little but not more than say once a month.

Okay, well you and everyone else, right Al?

Every guy views porn it seems, if only a little.

And really, life is full of porn triggers — non-porn that triggers sexual thoughts and fantasies and that in turn lead to sex hormones surging in the body…

Before I got into this work I do now, my male friends used to always be sending me photos through email of naked chicks and all this. (They don’t send them to me anymore and I’m grateful.)

bartender girl

I’ve talked about porn and you know a little more about that, but what about masturbation?

Everyone masturbates, right?

It’s totally cool to masturbate, but there are a lot of things that people don’t realize about masturbation.

You know what’s weird about masturbation? There are tribes in this world of men and women who don’t have a word for masturbation at all. As written recently about these African tribes:

The absence of masturbation among Aka and Ngandu men and women may be more surprising, and perhaps also harder to explain. Recall that the Hewletts did not find that masturbation is “frowned upon or punished,” but rather that there is just no general conception of it.

Masturbation isn’t as common or as universal as we think. It is practiced by some cultures a lot, and by other cultures not much.

I believe that masturbation has increased dramatically over the last 30 or 40 years. And it’s all due to the prevalence of sexual triggers.

Wake up, go to your phone. See 20 email and 10 Facebook updates, many triggering sexual thoughts. Cruise to Reddit or Craigslist and Youtube. Lots of sexual triggers there.

By the time you’ve downed a cup of coffee and headed for work, you’ve had 20 sexual thoughts and all this

Constant stimulus gets the sex hormones surging continuously throughout the day

And so these hormones surging create a tolerance by your body for them. Your body gets used to these constantly surging sex hormones.

And that brings desensitization on us.

Years ago, men didn’t have all that constant stimulus. They had to fantasize and jerk off to their thoughts not to high speed video.

And they strung their thoughts together by themselves, and interacted with other people without sexual triggers every second of the day.

It was such as different world because you went to a restaurant and people had to talk to each other. They didn’t have their phones to immerse themselves in. And they didn’t see sex, sex, sex everywhere, in every ad, every placemat, every radio and TV commercial, every banner ad…

They didn’t see the pictures in this article, either, LOL (the irony does not escape the Cookster.)

girl by window

Masturbation is fine, but if you have desensitization, then it may be something you have to stop for awhile.

A bit of masturbation is no problem…but here is how it CAN be a problem… 

Masturbation to “in the brain” ordinary fantasy has rarely caused problems in the past. 

But today, it’s difficult for a man to masturbate to fantasy. The fantasy has to be about a porn scene or something erotic he saw in a movie, TV commercial, blog post, article, etc.

The fantasy is heavily enhanced by all the interactive gizmos we’re immersed in all day. And THAT is a potent recipe for sexual desensitization.

Because all those surging sex hormones all day every day cause desensitization, plain and simple. Toss in masturbation and you’ve got a lot of partner sex problems, erectile dysfunction, feeling little or nothing…

It seems that the more email, Facebook and high speed video we consume, the more we have those sex hormone surges throughout the day, the more we masturbate and the worse our partner sex experience is.

It’s no coincidence.

Masturbation with ejaculation results in loss of sexual energy at the best of times. But

The constant sexual triggers make it 100 times worse

I have guys in their 20s who have severe problems with getting hard. Basically they just can’t get it up for anything.

And what they have in common is, they started masturbating and using porn, and not just the porn of yesteryear, but the porn of today.

And, for the guys who are in their 40s or 50s or 60s, welcome to the world of constantly surging sex hormones resulting from all those triggers out there!

Desensitization, here we are!

Today’s interactive technologies and constant triggers results in changes to our brains that desensitize our brains to “normal” stimulus, say a real woman and a real pussy.

girl in black bustier

And those are real changes that are visible in brain scans. They aren’t “in your head.” They are real.

To overcome these brain changes, nothing works better than building up Oxytocin in your brain and in your dick

Oxytocin can restore the desensitization caused by sexual triggers, poor masturbation habits, too much masturbation, or a host of things including health problems.

If this resonates, leave a comment or question.

We will have a contest with one comment drawn at random and winning a free course valued at $197. The purpose of leaving a comment or question (completely private as far as who you are) is to help the 1000s of guys here at the Brotherhood. We all benefit!


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Love sex

E. Lee Saffold

How does one build up Oxytocxin?

William Schumacher

Hi Matt, dead down there and confused. I’m 53 and it’s been dead for about 4 year. Can you help?


I have had some health problems with cancer and meningitis and both of those have affected Mr. Willie. Also my wife had cancer and radiation so she is very dry down there. So I started masturbation and now am desensitized badly. Thank you Matt for what you are doing. I am taking two of your courses and they have given me a mountain of advice and I do appreciate it. I am going to stop masturbation and see if that helps me. I have done this since I was very young so I know I will have a problem. But I will give it my best.My wife of 40 years is the perfect woman and we have a very close relationship.I feel bad now that I did not stop the M. But I will now so we can get our intimate life back on track.I am self employed and work way too much so I am not home much.That does not help.The cancer and meningitis put me behind in my work and because of the pain and morphine, I cannot work as fast as I used to.So I got rid of some clients and am trying to get caught up and be home with my sweetie.I will also stop the M.I know it will not be easy.It gets so ingrained into a man’s mind.But my wife is worth it so I will try very hard.

    Matt Cook

    It is inspiring to read about a man who is so committed to his woman and to himself. I am really happy you are here. You are a problem solver kind of guy.

    I wonder if you’ve tried using almond oil on your penis before entering her? And using soft entry? That can work magic if you just linger inside her, even if just the tip is in her, and often the whole enchilada becomes quite automatic. Women begin lubricating better. And it really becomes a joy.



John McClelen

I used to masturbate a lot, but now only when a particular event, sexy picture, erotic story or scene, etc. causes an erotic response (and I am alone). My Wife’s Vagina Is Very Tight and my erection is often too soft to penetrate her vagina and then last long enough to orgasm. With Masturbating I can continue until orgasm ever if I lose my erection. Pills do not work for me.


Rather than porn I usually imagine being with this particular woman and how great the sex was with her while I masturbate. Does this desensitize you also?






    Matt Cook

    Welcome Meajana, great to have your thoughts here. So appreciated. Most guys are really seeking the same things women are, a level of happiness and fulfillment and we are each different and we need and want each other. Ain’t it magic?




It makes such good sense.
The immersion in porn can easily become addictive and definitely taints the way men interact with the world.
Women in the most benign environments can become intense sexual triggers. No longer respected as equals-PEOPLE, but sexualised WOMEN.
Being able to operate through life from a place of heart has a ring of innocence, which it is definitely not. It is a mature space to inhabit.
Thank you Matt for making this so clear to me.
Most of my life, there has been such heartfelt and honest interaction with the women around me. Immediately after my marriage ended some 8 yrs ago I discovered internet porn, online dating, the plethora of “dating” gurus… And my whole mindset has shifted, been poisoned even.
I’m excited by the idea that oxytocin as an antidote. It’s the cuddling hormone, bonding and such. So I’m giving it a go with my current lover.
Ditch the porn altogether, avoid the dating “advice”, and restrain myself with masturbation-wait for tension to gradually and naturally build. Go into my heart and imagination when I do feel ready for release.
I’ll run an experiment.
My lover will be the unwitting judge of any changes.
Thanks again!

    Matt Cook

    Your woman is very lucky to have you Robert. Just keep on staying the course. The tension will ease the more you do the Oxytocin building stuff — naked cuddling, hand holding, sleeping together without jumping into sex instantly. That stuff is very satisfying, very satiating actually and makes it much easier not to masturbate or use porn.

    Life is an experiment and you’re on your way to great things!




I used to masturbate a lot when I was in my teens and twenties. Through all of this “practice” my body learned how to cum quickly. That was fine then, but now that I’m married, I cum way too quickly for my wife. I will pleasure her to orgasms manually, but what she wants is a good hard pounding, and I can only do that for maybe a minute before I’m done.

I’ve bought programs left and right, and none of them have helped me. I’ve tried different products, but either they don’t help or they desensitize me to the point that I can’t stay hard. I don’t know if she’s more frustrated or if I am, but it weighs heavily on my mind every time we make love. Thinking about it makes it worse.

I’m sure there are other guys out there who experience this same problem. Is there anything that can help?

    Matt Cook

    Lots of guys, thousands of them here, have the same problem Teddy. And it can be helped and remedied, I would say cured, by fixing the desensitization.

    The old idea of premature ejaculation was the over-eager 17 year old virgin. That’s not the way it is. PE is the other side of the same coin as not being able to come, or going soft inside, or not getting hard in the first place. It’s all got the same cause and the same fix.




I’m in my middle 50’s and I’m having a rough time with sex. I was diagnosed with parkinson’s a few years back and that’s more of an issue as the years go on. I’ve tried the pills and they work sometimes, but not as well as they used to.
If your program works for me it would be a godsend.

    Matt Cook

    Yes Parkinson’s can become more of an issue. I think lots of good sexual contact might help Parkinson’s, who knows. I’d love to see how you progress with our programs. I have other students who have Parkinson’s and we’re all in this together.



Steve Wiggins

I find your program works well, although I was skeptical at first.

Seemed like a lot of money.

But now feel it was money well spent.

Am enjoying the renewed sexual confidence.

Thank you.

    Matt Cook

    I am so glad you wrote this, Steve. It will inspire 1000 other guys.




I am 46 years old and have been a diabetic for 43 of those years. I have had problems with erections since in my 30s. I have been on pills and shots both of which have worked for awhile but then become less effective over time.


Most women seem to need all or nothing… in my experience…. It seems most everyone want security, money and all the good things in life. But when it come to contribute, they just want the guy to do it all for them!!! Be a good lover, a good husband, a good provider, etc. etc… when will the woman come up and contribute to be a good woman, a good lover, a great inspiration, etc.?? Well so far that has been my experience…. When I divorce them they for some reason become successful, but when they are with me they are just blood suckers… what is up with that??? Then you wonder where the sex is when all those feelings you feel are from a negative standpoint?? It is way more complex than chemicals in your body… it is tied to hormones, thoughts, psychology and soul…. it is all combined… not just your chemical or hormonal balance… that is in my humble opinion… any comments on this subject?? Al


Hi Matt
While masturbating I orgasm but no sperm comes out. Is this connected to desensitization?

    Matt Cook

    It could be, Fred. Is there a medical reason you can think of?

    Sometimes at a certain point a guy can have a dry orgasm as you describe, but there are also other medical reasons.



    jerry c.ailes

    Thank you for your effort to help men like me.I salute you. You speak about Build up of the substance called ” Oxytocin ” What is that and how can it help your brain and your dick.? I have problems with erection but i have beeen taking t-boost , for testosterone and and L-arginine. It seems to help me with morning erections. I went to TOTAL PERRFROMANCE MEDICAL CENTER in Carmel,Indiana. They did several tests on me blood,sonic and testosterone.Every thing seemed good. the doc. gave me a sample called Tadalafil,under the tongue.The Tadalafil was 25mg dosage. I would take only every other day.Seemed to help a little.I wake up with nice erections.That would last for some time. What do you think of this?Again,thank you for all you do.By the way,i am 67 but in very good health.Thank you


I have watched porn and sometimes masturbated.Im over 60. From what has been said, I think my problem is desensitization. How can I do this and is it possible for a person of my age.

John Mac

Interested in longer loving. Not just wham bam…



you seem to suggest you can cure desensitization forever with the Nirvana Sex program. How is this different from the last program in which you suggest we refrain from oggling porn, masturbating and fantasy? I’m just a little confused because I’d hate to think I’d be wasting my money on one program and following its advice…while another program (costing more money) says we have nothing to worry about and all our ills will be cured for good.

I’m just confused as to what theNirvana Sex program really has to offer in terms of a cure for good.

Please help.


i have noticed my penis reacting a lot better since stopping porn, and building oxytocin, there are still many unanswered questions on how far we as humans can build oxytocin and to what degree we can love our partners, tho i am willing to apply the solution

    Matt Cook

    It’s a wonderful experience. If you notice how you perceive your woman, you will begin to notice that each day your feelings for her are different, very different. This corresponds with orgasms, Oxytocin building stuff and other things. It can lead you to a fantastic path.




Can supplementing Oxytocin help to bring back attraction and feelings of desire for the woman you have become bored with?
And if so is there a supplement you recommend.

John Wilson

How do I increase oxytocin? Orgasms for me are really quick during masturbation. Its not done often. Is there a product for sale that does this?

Micah Smith

I thought oxytocin is for women, I really don’t understand, tell me why it works so good please!!!

    Matt Cook

    Oxytocin is a hormone produced in both men and women.

    In men it is made in the testicles and in the brain.

    It is vitally important for the feelings of love and for erections. Without it, there ain’t much of either, and life doesn’t feel fulfilling.

    Many hormones have multiple roles in the body. Oxytocin has roles for women the same as for men, and also for other stuff, but the love and sexual fulfillment role is the same for men and women.








        Meajana, I’m just another member of the brotherhood here, but I’m glad to see you with us. Matt’s right about all the sexual triggers we meet every day. So we guys are being programmed to be what you said you believe about us. I’m sure the triggers have an effect on women, too, but I’m not sure exactly what effect that would be. So we all “know” that there are leg men, boob men, and tush men, right? I like all of those, but since becoming acquainted with Matt, I’ve discovered (actually, rediscovered) that I’m really an eye man. Looking back, I realized that all the women I’ve been seriously involved with have had beautiful eyes and have been beautiful people behind those eyes. I think that’s the way it used to be before we were being bombarded with ads for sexual enhancement products and internet dating services. Have faith!


Hi Matt,
I would guess that I’m pretty typical. I was quite horny as a young man. Masterbated frequently. Then married for 22 years to a woman who saw sex as a chore. The last ten of those years I spent self-medicating with bourbon. I became pretty much dead down there. After the divorce, I quit drinking, got a great girlfriend and a prescription. It worked great for a few years, but has quit being effective. The side effects were enough to make me stop. I’ve studied Taoist techniques, but have had only limited success so far. Oh yeah, throw in a brutal work schedule and serious fatigue. I’m not getting much. Can your program really turn this mess around?
I’m very curious.


Hi Matt,

Great article explaining how current masturbation habits can cause desensitization. I am in my early 30’s and experiencing really bad desensitization after masturbating too much in my 20’s. I stopped masturbating & looking @ porn and am starting some solo activities in one of your courses to fix the desensitization. But as you say in the course that having a partner & doing partner exercises fixes the desensitization quicker.
Right now I am single and want to date but I am too worried that a woman will not want to be with me because of my desensitization. How do I get over this fear? How do I find a woman that will help me with my desensitization problems & fix them for good?
Any answer is appreciated.

    Matt Cook

    This comes up a lot, Jay.

    The solo activities can help bring things back, and then it’s time to meet women. There is a justifiable fear because it’s such a huge embarrassing bummer to be with a girl and firing blanks, or not firing at all. But my suggestion is to get out there before you think you are ready, and aim to have a girl you really enjoy being with. Spend a lot of time with her in bed without having sex. If you think a girl won’t put up with this or won’t go for this, it’s the wrong girl.

    Sex will become much easier after a time or two of this. And you’ll have spontaneous erections and start feeling more confident before you try to stick it in. Then it will go very nicely and you’ll have a wonderful experience.

    Too fast, treating our bodies as if we are porn stars who can “perform” on demand — that kills our sensitivity and the same goes for girls too. Some of them (most?) are desensitized from all the sexual triggers and porn star expectations — but many are interested in a connection, a different and better path.



David rugg

Wow – I am 56 and have experienced these issues, but never linked it
to masturbation which I have done since my teens. Never had an issue
Until about age 52 when I had prostate surgery and that is when the issue
started. Now it is 4 yrs later and things have gotten better, but nowhwere
Near what I used to consider normal. I used to get erection at night while
sleeping- not anymore, the desire is still there, but it takes a lot longer to
get a full erection and it doesn’t last long enough since surgery. I take penis
injections now and that helps. Viagra cialus never worked or had any effect.
very frustrating not knowing if and when I can perform.


I’m 51 and for 4 years now I can’t get a stiff erection, It’s really Depressing, I went from 7-1/2 inches to a semi hard 3 inches or less, it starts to get hard but it stops at semi, I love to M-bate whenever, to me it relieves everyday stress, My wife and I play around but My dick just want get hard enough and then it pisses me off making me feel useless, I’ve gained some weight over the years but I still exercise, I do kagel all the time, but it hasn’t did much for me. I’ve tried pumps, natural pills,testo-gel everything thats out there I’ve tried it,I cant take the viagra, cialis, or that other One, It makes me feel like my heart is trying to jump out and my dick want get hard at all,it’s like taking speed and it runs home. I have very large Balls and a Big sack and dealing with this little semi all the time just makes me sick, I always Dreamed of having a nice 9 inch cock someday, But thats wishful thinking now.I’ve oredered different exercise programs for your cock and nothing worked for me. It feels like I’m aging to quick as it is and not being able to get it up makes it that much worse, I’m at the end of my rope and I want to try Matts secrets, but I don’t want something that want work, I need a miracle and praying hasn’t did it for me, Please, Is there really a solution to my problem?

    Matt Cook

    I’d first get off the treadmill of “not long enough, not big enough, size size size.” You have repeated this stuff about length and size and disappointment. That is a focus on a goal that hurts guys.

    A focus on sensitivity, connection, feeling pleasure, that can guide a guy to a much better sex life. Much better than measuring and obsessing about length.

    I don’t think those penis lengthening courses work much. A little maybe, but not worth bothering with, and they cause a man to focus on the wrong things. It’s as if there are 100 dollar bills in the trees and guys are stooping down on the ground to pick up pennies.

    Once your desensitization is fixed, you can have amazing sex and by the way, a guys’ cock frequently grows a bit bigger at that point on its own for some reason. Plus a lot of sex increases testosterone levels…




I started M’ing at 12–no porn in those days, just Playboy and Penthouse. Being a shy kid, it was my main form of release for a long time. When I finally did get into relationships and marriage, I didn’t have too many performance problems, though I kept up the M’ing too. I got ED at 47, gave up trying with my wife at 51. That’s when I started with Internet porn. Now I’m 64 and I hardly M or view porn. I actually do feel desire and sensation down there, but not so frequently, and Dr Willie doesn’t stand at attention, or if he does, only briefly. I’m still married, and my wife says that sex isn’t important. But hope springs eternal, as they say…

    Matt Cook

    I always feel really bad when I read about these stories, especially about the wife saying sex isn’t important. Bless those wonderful wives, they are amazing, aren’t they?

    But I’m going to tell you point blank. Almost any guy can bring it all back. And then some. Much better than it was before in many ways.

    It takes a careful approach to getting rid of masturbation, porn, and fantasy, and rewiring your brain to real sex, and a different way to have sex that is far more fulfilling and lasts a lot longer.

    Glad you are here.




how can one build Oxytocin in ones brain? also how is it possible to delay ejaculation and still enjoy the intercourse?


Matt. I your Testosterone lift off
U mention something about:

20 drops of iodine with grape seed oil or coconut oil.

Paint it on your Scrotum, perineum & testicles.

To try a small area first; to make sure u don’t get irritated.
Apply every other night.

The iodine crosses into the prostrate & testicles.

What exactly is the benefits of doing this? I didn’t understand or didn’t pick up on have purpose of this.


When as men things in our homes or cars are not working correctly we find the right parts and correct tools and we fix it. When we run into problems fixing things we seek out someone who has experience to get the right information so we can go back and get the job done right. Matt and company provide the right tools and experience. The reprogramming of our brains and how we get through this “mine field” of sexual triggers will be challenging, but the reward is worth the effort.

    Matt Cook

    Thanks Rusty, it is SO worth it. That’s why I love what I do and we all feel strongly about that here, and see the results that men get with our programs and it’s worth all the hard work because it makes such a real difference.




Thanks for your help. I was about 50 when i started to have issues. I turned to pills, shots and finally porn. I lost all feelings or desire for sex. Got divorced along the way after 34 years. Thought i was done and only thoight about old times and desire to relive old times
Pretty much gave up,until i started to practice what you daid. Dated a couple of times with fear and no feelings.
Met a new woman who understood and helped me immensely get my feelings back along with reading your articles.
After 5 months of intimacy i can go for hours of lovemaking and staying hard. I dont always have sn orgasm but my girl does. Wow. Im alive again
Keep up the good work

    Matt Cook

    I’m so thrilled to read about your success, Scott! Congratulations, what an incredible feeling that is!




Porno today doesn’t even teach a guy how to make a woman really fel it. The girls just moan any old way, but it doesn’t work that way in real life. Fortunately, I learned what does work. You just have to enjoy taking extra time and revel in each intricate moment. I mean, it isn’t like taking a poop, or at least it shouldn’t be.


you know matt I spent 10 years in chemotherapy after age 42 now i’m 59.
You won’t believe how much chemotherapy stunts your sex drive .
went from sex at age 27 eight times a night with my girlfriend (she used to give up on me) to eight times a year after chemotherapy.
but they fixed the cancer , over a period of ten years.
so can your program help me. what do I need to do

    Matt Cook

    I feel strongly that we can help you. This is such a common story. Chemotherapy, major surgery, cancer, all take their toll. Sometimes they stop erections cold, sometimes they lower sex drive, sometimes they lower testosterone levels to near zero. I have students who have this issue who are successfully finding their way back.

    Congratulations for being the brave guy who overcame cancer. It was very difficult I’m sure, I can only imagine. Thanks for being here.




yes matt , the difference between the old porno movies is that they had a story to it .
nowadays the guy is trying to stick it into every hole she’s got and it’s not as exciting as the story pornos.
he want’s to stick it in her ear so it blows her mind!!
after a while it becomes a turnoff instead of a turn on . what do you think???

    Matt Cook

    Tony If you notice your perceptions of women (or your woman if you are in a relationship) before and after porn watching you will pick up on what this can do to us.

    It can seem like a turnoff for awhile but we can easily get addicted to porn the same way we can get addicted to sugar, gambling, coca cola, or anything else.

    But porn addiction is much worse because it is so tied into what is biologically most important to us.

    Also, I think that porn use even once a month can cause a tremendous amount of desensitization.




Matt: Of course it makes sense that excessive masturbation and porn viewing could result in desensitizing of the equipment, but on the other hand if one doesn’t have a regular lady in his life or hasn’t been getting nookie on any kind of a regular basis then your options are limited.

Not only that the latest “research” from the medical world regarding Prostate Cancer indicates that not having regular sex, or to put it another way not getting ones rocks off regularly, seems to increase the probability of prostate cancer.

Heck what’s a guy to do?


    My PSA went up when I started testosterone injections, so my doc sent me to a urologist. I had 3 prostate biopsies in 18 months. If you’ve never had one of those, it’s like a colonoscopy with a little extra excitement. Nothing to be afraid of; if your doc suggests one, do it! Anyway, I discussed what you mentioned — you’ve gotta get your rocks off or your risk of prostate cancer increases — with my urologist, and he says that’s not so. It’s an urban myth.


      Forgot to mention all 3 biopsies were negative.

      Matt Cook

      yeah I think your urologist is spot on — ejaculation isn’t healthier than not ejaculating and in fact has no discernible affect on prostate health. Except…a lot of ejaculation is bad for prostate health.

      I personally am not even testing my PSA. I would rather not know. I studied this matter in great depth over the past few years and concluded that for many men it may be better not being tested and avoid the whole diagnosis-treatment route. Over treatment of prostate issues is a huge problem.

      80% of men who die and are autopsied show prostate cancer. But most never knew it and didn’t die of it. And treating and diagnosing “early” would only save 1 out of 1000 men at best, while a good 300 of them will have to go through scary, expensive, uncomfortable and side-effect ridden procedures.




Interesting. What about those without a woman. Is the desensitization the same or worse?


Hi Matt, I am at the beginning of my journey to regain my manhood. Yes I was the fat kid in school with glasses and a pimply face and sweated bucket loads. I had a verbal abusive father and passive mother, so my self esteem and self confidence was shot. At the gae of twelve I found a Forum anthology of real life sex stories which described masturbation. So began wanking several times a day. At first I used to cum quickly as time when on I began to use my muscles to hold it in and for more intense pleasure and so the death grip began as I needed to generate more and more sensations to be able to cum and experience intense sensations and really blow my load sky high. The first time I had sex with a girl it was a disappointment as I couldn’t get the same intense pleasure I used to from masturbation. I moved on to masturbate watching and reading porn and only being turned on by more and more extreme fetishes. Also now compounding the problem I have high blood pressure and anxiety and depression issues and have given up sex for the last ten years. before then women made fun and criticism me for not being able to cum, mind you I did learn how to eat pussy very well. For the first time in years I have hope with Davids program to restore my ability and be able to come for the first time with a woman during intercourse. For the first time I have hope to feel like a normal man in the bedroom.


Hi Matt; 71 now, began having ED problems in mid 60’s, used masturbation & some porn, not much help. Used viagra, then cialis worked ok. For years wife was not really interested, had complete historectomy and interest totally disappeared. She complained of soreness & dryness, used lots of lube, no real help. Masturbated to stretch out between times with horizontal activity, switched to pump. Not much help, then encountered light case of Peyronies disease. Found your program about that time, and using it along with daily cialis and a “Fleshlight” product to practice stretching ligaments in Dr Willie, have begun some measure of recovery from Peyronies, desensitization, morning wood, slightly better response from wife, building oxytocin, and in general feeling better about most everything. I last longer now than I ever have before, and go multiple days in a row (no ejaculation) but then “finishing” once or twice a week is really great (for a guy my age). Now to work on getting her really on board with this program.

Rolondo Escamilla

Ok so i do masturbate, but not to porn., i think af my wife and how good i would want our sex life to be…i fanasize of how i could be with her, csuse believe me its not good at all. We dont spend much time together and we work out of town alot and dont get to see each othr on a daily basis… so instead of cheating on her, i actually fantasize about her… i dont know whats up but even my size is smaller and my sensitivty is like at 200% i cum so quick i feel if i dont go in her i might just cum before i start… so im i desentisizing myself or im not that good any more… your advice would be greatly appreciated..


Hello. I had a problem with masturbation during more than 4 decades. It is a thing of the past. In practice, it only short-circuits the normal sexual loop or cycle. I do not recommend-advise masturbation to any male. I am looking into your program. It seems to agree with Dr Lamm’s “The Hardness Factor”. Oxytocin, as far as I understand, is key to having a normal penile function. I already purchased one of your programs, Matt.

Yes, sexual triggers are all over, in contemporary American society. Yes, desensitization is a real issue. A male with erection issues, that does not require medical treatment, can follow Dr Lamm’s program, and/or Matt Cook’s program. Both will deliver excellent results. It takes a while for either one, or both, to deliver results. A third alternative is the use of PHGH, offered by John Lawrence, at Lawrence Supplements. John had some serious problems. He found a solution that works.

Best wishes.

Tom Crepeau

This looks interesting.


I am having trouble getting and maintaining an erection



Hi, Matt…

I’m looking into your program. I’m a guy with dominant body language and presence. I had congestive heart failure 4 years ago, and lost my ability to become erect. Since then, I’ve recovered my health well, and even Willie has become firmer. However, I still don’t get an erection or “morning wood”.

I used to be a real “tiger” in bed, and so, miss this part of my life. I’m hoping your program may get me to the next stage (i.e. morning wood and hardness).

Thanks for all the good you’re doing for everyone. It’s exciting to hear that my, and others, erection problems may be curable….


Hi Matt, first of all, all of what you wrote here is all the things that I have experienced. I will try and keep my story as brief as possible. I am 55 and can now have sex as if I was 35 but it was not from your program, but please I don’t discredit it. It all happened by a lucky chance meeting with a Chinese Doctor whose father and grandfather were doctors and this one was brought up with medicine in her veins. I visited her for other reasons and one talked about preparing health for older age and that include my sex life as I am single now after two marriages and she was looking for a partner. She treated me for six weeks around the groin area and it hurt a first for a few days but then it all happened, I was waking up at night with a hard on. My understanding of Chinese Medicine is all about circulation and blood flowing through your body without knots or blockages and that is the key to healthy body and function. She was able with her knowledge to identify points on my body which was the course of not only my dick area but other parts.


    Do you know what she used to cure your ED?


Hi Matt,
Willie here, I’m sorry I couldn’t get on the webinar’ but I just can’t get it setup, my speakers aren’t working, even though I
Got different ones. Thank you for the good infomation.
I’m 63 and my wife is 61. For years our relationship
Went sour, she blamed me, she said I wanted to do it all the time
But, to make a long story short, I just wanted some satisfaction.
After about 8 or 9 yrs. to want to. We did once
But it hasn’t got hard enough to go in since she don’t want
Any foreplay other than my penis. No lubricant since it may
Irritate her. Can U help?
Thanks Matt.


This really resonates with me. At 42, I’m finding myself more reliant on porn than I’d like; overcoming that would be pretty well awesome.


Hi Matt…I’m happy to have stumbled across your site and products. I have
been desensitized (I believe) since I was a kid. I’ve never been able
to ‘get it up’ reliably and am mystified as to how other guys do. I masturbated a
lot when I was younger and kind of harshly and I think it desensitized me. When I
got a girlfriend at 18, she was younger and wasn’t ready for sex so made me wait.
By the time we finally did it, it was a Big Deal and I couldn’t perform. I think that set the
pattern. Now whenever I’m with a girl, I feel so much pressure to ‘get it up’ and to
perform that I can’t. Drugs like cialis do work but I hate having to pop a pill
to perform and would love to just get it up at will whenever I want to be with a girl.
I’m now 43 and have never really had great sex except if I take a
pill and then I can’t ejaculate. And the expectations are deflating to say the
least! Even now, I can see hot girls during my day and feel nothing,
numb, no boner at all. And I think it’s all desensitization. When I
masturbate I can get it up just fine, but usually requires
a lot of effort and elaborate fantasies. Sooooooo, I’m excited
(Hopefully in more ways than one) to hear about your methods
of boosting oxytocin (and I assume nitric oxide) to achieve
being hard naturally when turned on by a lovely creature who stimulates
me with her wit and beauty!

Thanks Matt and I hope to learn a lot and get on track!

Robert Johnson

I am 56yrs old and would love to have sex again but as you can tell I do not get any because I do not come to attention. and it starts the woman laughing and fellings get hurt on both sides of the bed. I would love to get your course but money is running short these day with lay offs and work slow downs I do not have that type of cash . I would like win so I can break this cycle and get back to a normal life with a woman.


I’m in a long distance relationship with a gorgeous 25 year old girl who is very sexual (loves to fuck in public places, wants it 2-3 times a day, etc), but sometimes my dick goes soft or it won’t even get hard. When I’m not with her I tend to masturbate to thoughts of her, I’m wondering if that’s hurting me when I do see her.


You know, this is a very interesting topic. I wonder how the effect of M&P on the brain varies with one’s testosterone level. About 10 years ago, I went through a porn phase. At that time, I had very low T. It’s even lower now, but I’ll say something about that in a minute. Anyway, I watched porn back then for two reasons — to learn new tricks (I found it amazing the things some folks appeared to enjoy having done to them!) and for entertainment. I found some of it hilarious. Only once or twice did I masturbate to porn, and I didn’t find the porn all that stimulating even then. I wasn’t performing that well with my wife then, but I (we) attributed that to low T.

Now, I have even lower T (three weeks after a 1 ml injection, I tested at 0.8!). And my wife has died, so at present I have no partner. I now do an injection every 2 weeks. I do that not for sexual performance, but for the other effects testosterone has on my quality of life (initiative, problem-solving, etc.). Despite the essential absence of T, I frequently (well, in fact usually) wake up with morning wood. And everything works — at least in lab tests. I’m eagerly awaiting an opportunity for a field test. But meanwhile I can testify that you don’t necessarily need T in order to perform. I am taking a supplement, which may or may not be helping, but if it is helping, it’s not by raising my T level.


I am 51. I have experienced this problem with the last few women i’ve been with. I did read up on ED, and they said that if you still get “morning wood” or can get erections at other times, then you don’t NEED drugs. It’s psychological. And that’s me. It works, it just doesn’t work when I NEED it to work. As for the desensitization, I was involved in a long distance relationship for a long time that included a lot of cam-sex (aka masturbation). I’ve now ended that, and don’t masturbate as much, but I still suffer from the problem. I really do need something like this program.

Reginald Glanton

Too much of any one good thing is is no good. Use to hear that a lot as a kid. In our culture we have access to so much and so often. We are led like sheep to desire cars, food, women and booze. Just to mention a few. Densitization sure ran a bell when I started reading your material. And by the way? Why do you show
young pretty women who are what our culture would say are desireable. Would we stop reading without the sex appeal? I am doing better now that I dont try to perform. And no more porn or masturbation. What really turns me on is when I know I can make a women happy and satisfied. That takes communication. Which is defined as intercourse. Weird how that works out.


    Yes — a 4-letter word meaning “intercourse” is “talk”.






Ok. I hear you about all this desensitization stuff, masturbating and porn. But I’m alone right now, and sometimes I feel like I just need to get off. I deleted all my video porn and don’t watch it anymore, based on your logical advice. But Dr. Willie just never works like he did when I was a kid, where being within miles of a girl got me hard. Last time I was with a woman, getting hard was virtually impossible. Even masturbating is a struggle. I don’t get it.


I’m diabetic and I thought that I was having problems maintaining an erection, because of medical reasons. However, I’ve been an avid masterbater since puberty. I’m 54 years old now; and, the only way I can get hard and ejaculate is by looking at porn on the Internet. Consequently, it has permanently destroyed my ability for having a conjugal relationship with a woman. I am very interested to find out if your recommendations will work for me. I realize this habit and my way of thinking will be difficult to change; but, I want it to work, because I do not want to be alone.. want to have successful relations with a woman again.

    Matt Cook

    Hi Brother David, it isn’t permanent. You can recover and have more sensitivity than you had 20 years ago.

    I’ve seen guys go from being really avid masturbators to completely getting away from it and never looking back. I’ve also seen guys really struggle with it. It’s a great time to determine to get rid of this problem and you can have decades of amazing sexual fulfillment that you may have never had since puberty.

    Also, diabetes type 2 (adult onset) is extremely simple to fix. And it is very satifying getting rid of it because all sorts of other health problems get better too. You may not be able to reverse damaging peripheral neuropathy that’s already happened but you can stop it cold in my experience (and other complications from diabetes) and perhaps reversal is possible. 54 is pretty young in the scheme of things. Glad you are here!




I am 57. I completely understand what you are saying about the porn and masturbation. While I have never had a problem with performance both have had a adverse affect on relationships at times. Fortunately my desire for what is real has kept me from chasing fantasies very long. The work you are doing is incredibly important and I thank you for it.

    Matt Cook

    Thank you Brother Roy!

    It’s amazing how masturbation can affect our perceptions of a woman. It really does. Everything does of course, but especially masturbation. Keep that desire going and channel it to regain your balance and your sensitivity. It will cause your drive to increase in a way that is amazing, a feeling of masculine power and authority that is not the painful horniness many of us experienced as adolescents. And it’s why guys over 50 can be extremely attractive to younger women.




Do you think the doctors and drug companies know what’s happening and figure to keep raking in big bucks?

    Matt Cook

    I think it’s purposeful by the drug companies. They influence everything in a big way:

    budgets for research
    which research gets funded
    which doesn’t

    The doctors are pawns in the game. They learn either drugs or cutting. It isn’t their fault. The entire system is designed to treat symptoms with drugs or cutting.

    Fortunately, we can discover the truth and the Internet makes this a fantastic time to free ourselves from the bullshit.

    I spend hours every week, sometimes many hours in a day, reading research or real world experiences.

    There is actually a lot of research being done despite the system being so biased. And it’s an exciting time.

    The one thing that is hardly studied at all is the stuff we have learned here. Desensitization gets very little research. But the truth is getting out.




I know porn, masturbation and even fantasies can cause desensitization. Can having very frequent sex or having sex with different partners very frequently cause desensitization? Weldone Matt!


Great story Matt! I never thought about other sexual stimulus’s as you mention here. Thanks for the great points covered. I have always believed that masturbation when younger and quickies because of kids (and other reasons) have conditioned me to ejaculate as quickly and intensely as possible. This means that I am usually unable to satisfy my partner during sex. Please tell us how to increase Oxytocin levels!

    Matt Cook

    Yeah, masturbation habits can hurt our performance if we try to just rub one out and our brains and bodies get used to that mode of release.

    However, fortunately we can undo the damage and end up on a whole new level of sexual fulfillment that spills over into our entire life and makes it more rewarding than we ever thought possible.




what you say makes a lot of sense. I have tried some of those pills and they haven’t worked well for me. although I have never been one to do a lot of masturbating or look at much porn it can still be difficult at times to get an erection.
it’s troubling because of some health issues my wife has we don’t get the opportunity for sex very often and frustrating when I can’t respond very well.
Thanks for the e mail on this.


There have been many nights where I’ve been extremely frustrated with myself because I was unable to perform. I’ve met the girl of my dreams and have not been able to perform at all in some instances and performing very well in others. It’s weird because I used to look at this girl and think to myself I should really be able to perform well all of the time as hot as she is. I really want to be able to perform at 100% all of the time. I don’t want to rely on pills or anything like that. I want it to be natural for me. I believe that your courses can help me. I am in S.O.S mode. Please help. Thanks a lot.


After learning all I have learned from you, Matt, my goal is to be able to love a woman again for her soul, and overall attractiveness. Not body parts, or sex acts, as we’ve seen in porn, etc. I would also like to find a partner who would be willing to work towards sex one or more times a day, for long periods of time, not just the “wham, bam, thank you mam” that we are all so accustomed too. I really want sex to help me bond body, soul and spirit with my next lover. Thanks for all.

Chillie Willie

What is the mechanism of action of oxytocin on sexual function and how do you increase oxytocin?


How do we raise OxyContin levels!


Great article Matt and couldn’t agree more about the desensitization due to “high speed” porn. I remember growing up in my teens, 20’s, 30’s, that internet porn was not available. The occasional porn magazine was sufficient to trigger the sexual urge to masturbate. But that was still you using your imagination involving the girl in the magazine photos. In today’s internet porn it doesn’t really require much in the way of imagination to get the job done.
Since removing that self defeating habit from my extra curricular activities, the morning woodies are returning with regularity.
However, one other thing that we are being bombarded on television & radio ads, internet & magazine ads are the constant commercials telling us to use drugs to help us with our “problem down there”, because guess what, you’re getting older and that’s how things go. If you go to your doctor about the problem down there, he prescribes drugs, because that’s the quick fix, though a short lived one. This just reinforces what we here all day long on all those ads. So as you think and believe, you reinforce the very problem you wish to solve.
That is why your information is so invaluable and I’m glad I came across your website. Thanks brother Matt for all that you do. Keep believing in your desire to help your fellow man, keep it up!

    Matt Cook

    First of all, congratulations Brother Derick for being a man of action and that the morning wood is coming back. You’ll be getting more sensitivity back than you thought possible if you continue on this path. And women find it super attractive and you’ll find it so much more rewarding interacting with women.

    On your second point, the ads are insidious. The message plays to our insecurities, “you need help, you’re over 30, over 40, whatever” and this is a very poisonous message. You are so right.

    The real truth is:

    1. sex isn’t about “performance”
    2. we can have the most incredible sex at any age
    3. we don’t need chemicals to do that — our bodies already have the right chemicals — now it’s our job to pick the programs we want to run (that are already built in) to maximize those chemicals (hormones) we already create.




Hi Matt, good article. What I see in the Natural Healing world is ED is caused by women. Women rule, thus the guys don’t get to lead like they used to. It’s gotten quite rediculous really. Women are leading men around by the nose in just about every area in life. Well, guess what, that leads to ED. The mans not “allowed” to be a man by the politically correct society we now live in. The men turn to porno but that gets old real quick so he eventually just accepts his fate.
Of course the oxytocin release can’t happen then. Seems the men want someone to love which would release the oxytocin and the women want someone to rule which releases the dopamine.
So the guy gets into his 50’s and buys the wife a condo or he gets a little cabin “up North”. Doesn’t want a divorce because of the kids and volume of money he’ll lose. Too old to start over. Just wants to live in peace.
If he does get single he’s very hesitent to get involved with another women because he completely shut himself down because it got to the point where he didn’t even want to touch the little woman. And of course on a quantum physics level you ultimately get what you want.
Society has demanded that men stop being men. That starts very early in life nowdays thus ED problems much earlier in life.
So what you teach becomes very important to the male to get his maleness back. Love IS the answer and men are natively pretty good at that. Finding a women that will “allow” the man to be a man is the problem. Simple yet complicated.

    Matt Cook

    Hey Brother Ken, I appreciate what you are saying.

    I think that government and large corporations don’t want men to be men. They want everyone to be a girly man who is more easily led by the nose (or nose ring).

    That’s why you see the mass girlification of public schools and public institutions without any debate really.

    And this spills over into relationships with women.

    Women tell me frequently that they have a very difficult time finding a real man these days. Especially younger men are extremely indoctrinated in this girlification thing, and they have largely lost the authority that men naturally have when they aren’t spilling their seed all over the place and when they are at their maximum male power.

    Fortunately, men can restore their own masculine authority without any outside help and women are madly attracted to men like this. Men who sit at the head of the table, men who take the initiative, men who use tools and build stuff and create stuff and take a leadership role in their life. Wow, this is so sexy to women, and rare. And with it comes a powerful sexual unleashing that makes life incredibly amazing.




I see people can get desensitized by porn, masturbation and sometimes even fantasies. But can a man ever get desensitized by too much sex or too many diff women? Weldone Matt!

    Matt Cook

    Hey there can’t, yes they can. The parade of different women is itself extremely desensitizing. And too many orgasms with too many partners does cause a lot of desensitization. It leads to the brain requiring a higher and higher level of dopamine in order to get off, and leaves a man feeling constantly unfulfilled and always wanting something hotter and newer. It is not a good way to live because it’s so unsatisfying and empty.

    There are better programs to run in your body even if you are not a “one woman man”. You can have incredible sex with more than one woman in a way that builds sensitivity and doesn’t destroy it.




how about phonesex with you (monogamous) partner when away?

    Matt Cook

    Harald, I think that when you do phone sex with your partner, you want to pay a lot of attention to how you feel for the next few days, even week. How do you see other women? How do you feel about your partner during this time?

    You can see for yourself that phone sex can really make you more attracted to other women and feel more ups and downs. That’s the experience of a lot of guys. There is a different way of using phone, skype, email and texts today that can increase closeness with an absent partner and increase your sensitivity and when you get together with her it can be very sweet and amazing. Try exploring that…and compare it to phone sex and see which you prefer. And let us know your experience!



Bruce Ellison

I’m 49 and I work out intensively for 40 minutes every day, weigh 155lbs and am 6′, in great shape. But I began getting erection problems in my 30s. Finally after years I went and my doc referred me to a psychologist who said it was psychological.

But I insisted on having my testosterone checked — it was a bit low but within normal range.

I never feel much and don’t have spontaneous erections. I need Cialis to perform at all. But it’s getting worse.

I’m seeing great hope in what you are telling men, Matt. Thank you for your amazing work.


Eye opening matt. ur on to something big here for guys like me. short story

23yo, not able to get arowsed. wife and me talk, try things but nothing works. thing is i dont feel senstion in the penis, it is like frozen. and com to think it ive jerked it a lot. trying nofap right now but its really hard.

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