Wow! I remember discovering masturbation as a kid.
What a shameful and pleasurable thing that was.
And then…fast forward to today…let’s get some perspective on masturbation and how it might affect our partner performance.
(And I hate using that word “performance” but there isn’t any other way to describe “how Dr. Willie works” so I’ll continue if you don’t mind…)
This article shows you some eye opening new facts to consider about masturbation and about how it may be contributing to desensitization…
Does masturbation cause problems getting hard, staying hard, or coming too fast/slow?
Hey, obviously, masturbation is actually a wonderful thing. It is amazing what it can do for us.
- Get to sleep
- Feel more relaxed
- Feel less lonely
- Feel really good!!
But overused or overdone, or done “wrong”, it has another side to it. Here’s how Al found this out.
Al had trouble with his erections. He goes to his doc. His doc does a blood test. “Testosterone is okay,” the doc says. The doc examines Al. “Everything seems okay.”
So the doc says to Al, “hey, you’re 30 now, and as you get older, things stop working as well. Plus you have a lot of stress in your life. A lot of this problem is from anxiety.”
The doc gives Al a prescription for a benzodiazapine Xanax that will “calm Al down”, and gives Al a scrip for Cialis.
And Al goes on his way.
Al doesn’t take the Xanax much, but he does take the Cialis pretty religiously. It seems to work okay, but after a year or two, not as well, and after 3 years, not at all.
Al wants a solution to his problem.
He doesn’t want to depend on pills or chemicals to have partner sex
And he’s in his 30s, is it really all so down hill from here?
Al comes to me and says, “Matt, I can’t get hard, I am not able to have a good erection much anymore. My girlfriend has to constantly stimulate me to get anywhere, and then it’s all over so fast. What do I do? I’m only in my thirties, I can’t imagine why things aren’t working. And my doc says it’s performance anxiety but that doesn’t seem completely right.”
I ask, “Al, what about your masturbation habits?”
Al says, sure I masturbate.
“Do you view porn?”
Well, not much. A little but not more than say once a month.
Okay, well you and everyone else, right Al?
Every guy views porn it seems, if only a little.
And really, life is full of porn triggers — non-porn that triggers sexual thoughts and fantasies and that in turn lead to sex hormones surging in the body…
Before I got into this work I do now, my male friends used to always be sending me photos through email of naked chicks and all this. (They don’t send them to me anymore and I’m grateful.)
I’ve talked about porn and you know a little more about that, but what about masturbation?
Everyone masturbates, right?
It’s totally cool to masturbate, but there are a lot of things that people don’t realize about masturbation.
You know what’s weird about masturbation? There are tribes in this world of men and women who don’t have a word for masturbation at all. As written recently about these African tribes:
The absence of masturbation among Aka and Ngandu men and women may be more surprising, and perhaps also harder to explain. Recall that the Hewletts did not find that masturbation is “frowned upon or punished,” but rather that there is just no general conception of it.
Masturbation isn’t as common or as universal as we think. It is practiced by some cultures a lot, and by other cultures not much.
I believe that masturbation has increased dramatically over the last 30 or 40 years. And it’s all due to the prevalence of sexual triggers.
Wake up, go to your phone. See 20 email and 10 Facebook updates, many triggering sexual thoughts. Cruise to Reddit or Craigslist and Youtube. Lots of sexual triggers there.
By the time you’ve downed a cup of coffee and headed for work, you’ve had 20 sexual thoughts and all this
Constant stimulus gets the sex hormones surging continuously throughout the day
And so these hormones surging create a tolerance by your body for them. Your body gets used to these constantly surging sex hormones.
And that brings desensitization on us.
Years ago, men didn’t have all that constant stimulus. They had to fantasize and jerk off to their thoughts not to high speed video.
And they strung their thoughts together by themselves, and interacted with other people without sexual triggers every second of the day.
It was such as different world because you went to a restaurant and people had to talk to each other. They didn’t have their phones to immerse themselves in. And they didn’t see sex, sex, sex everywhere, in every ad, every placemat, every radio and TV commercial, every banner ad…
They didn’t see the pictures in this article, either, LOL (the irony does not escape the Cookster.)
Masturbation is fine, but if you have desensitization, then it may be something you have to stop for awhile.
A bit of masturbation is no problem…but here is how it CAN be a problem…
Masturbation to “in the brain” ordinary fantasy has rarely caused problems in the past.
But today, it’s difficult for a man to masturbate to fantasy. The fantasy has to be about a porn scene or something erotic he saw in a movie, TV commercial, blog post, article, etc.
The fantasy is heavily enhanced by all the interactive gizmos we’re immersed in all day. And THAT is a potent recipe for sexual desensitization.
Because all those surging sex hormones all day every day cause desensitization, plain and simple. Toss in masturbation and you’ve got a lot of partner sex problems, erectile dysfunction, feeling little or nothing…
It seems that the more email, Facebook and high speed video we consume, the more we have those sex hormone surges throughout the day, the more we masturbate and the worse our partner sex experience is.
It’s no coincidence.
Masturbation with ejaculation results in loss of sexual energy at the best of times. But
The constant sexual triggers make it 100 times worse
I have guys in their 20s who have severe problems with getting hard. Basically they just can’t get it up for anything.
And what they have in common is, they started masturbating and using porn, and not just the porn of yesteryear, but the porn of today.
And, for the guys who are in their 40s or 50s or 60s, welcome to the world of constantly surging sex hormones resulting from all those triggers out there!
Desensitization, here we are!
Today’s interactive technologies and constant triggers results in changes to our brains that desensitize our brains to “normal” stimulus, say a real woman and a real pussy.
And those are real changes that are visible in brain scans. They aren’t “in your head.” They are real.
To overcome these brain changes, nothing works better than building up Oxytocin in your brain and in your dick
Oxytocin can restore the desensitization caused by sexual triggers, poor masturbation habits, too much masturbation, or a host of things including health problems.
If this resonates, leave a comment or question.
We will have a contest with one comment drawn at random and winning a free course valued at $197. The purpose of leaving a comment or question (completely private as far as who you are) is to help the 1000s of guys here at the Brotherhood. We all benefit!