This article shows you how porn is most likely causing your problems getting hard and staying hard. Read it even if you doubt this is your problem. It can be a life changer even if you are skeptical.
So, every day, I get a ton of emails about my work. And it’s what makes this work so much fun and so rewarding.
We are helping so many guys get their sex life back.
And since sex is more important than almost anything else in life, we’re doing a lot of good with guys and couples and making the world a lot better a place. Before I continue let me introduce a picture that is kind of fun…just to keep things lively. If you are recovering from porn use, don’t look.
If you want to email me simply write to me at matt at getrapidhelp.com, substituting @ for the at (I don’t write it out so I don’t get as much spam from robots that harvest email addresses, so you know what to do since you are a real human not a robot…) So now on to how stopping porn use can fix your erection problems…
“Matt how can I avoid going soft during sex?”
Many of these emails I get every day are like this one. “Jim” is having problems staying hard. He pleasures his girlfriend with her vibrator but of course wants real sex. And how long will she want to have a man who can’t get hard and really give it to her good?
So I asked “Jim” if he uses porn and he answered with this (I always protect the confidentiality and privacy of every guy. We never share info that is personally attached about any guy no matter what. Even wild horses and hot coals won’t get us to release personal info about you, ever ever ever.)
porn, yes sometimes but take it with a grain of salt
only look at it to try and get ready for my girl whom i love dearly
and her me/ but a bit embarssaring when it wont stay hard
i get her off with a vibe but you know what im missing
So by now, you need to know this simple equation:
So now you need to know this simple equation: porn = ED
Porn causes erectile dysfunction.
Not for every guy and not immediately.
But porn use causes problems. It does this by causing desensitization.
Desensitization progresses like this:
The six stages of erectile dysfunction
Stage #1: Feel a little less when you masturbate or have partner sex. Just less feeling altogether, less pleasurable orgasms.
Stage #2: Feel less love and affection for your girl. See her more critically. See her zits. A bit of her belly fat. See her behavior and feel critical inside. Not a loving feeling.
Stage #3: Morning wood stops. The progression is, you wake up more and more often without an erection. Eventually never have an erection when you wake up.
Stage #4: Occasionally difficult to have an erection with partner sex. Sometimes you go soft when you’re inside. Masturbation still works okay.
Stage #5: No erections maintained. And even masturbation becomes difficult.
Stage #6: No erections maintained. And masturbation with a soft noodle only.
The cause of most of this for most guys most of the time is desensitization
There are many causes of desensitization. And these causes include poor masturbation habits and medical issues.
But of all of them, if you view porn even sometimes,
The porn is what is causing your erectile dysfunction
And here’s an important point.
It doesn’t matter if you just WATCH porn. You don’t need to masturbate to porn in order for it to cause ED.
And you don’t need to have an orgasm watching porn for porn to cause ED.
Even watching it causes ED by increasing desensitization.
Watching porn, whether you masturbate to orgasm, masturbate just a little, or “edge”, causes ED.
And even if you watch without any masturbation whatever, you still will cause ED using porn this way.
Why does porn cause so much desensitization even without masturbation?
It has to do with how the brain works. The male brain specifically.
And not just the male brain, but the part of the brain that is almost reptilian. Very basic to us and all the animals.
Our male brains get a reward from stuff related to reproduction. That’s how we’re designed. It’s part of our basic hardware.
Here are the designs built into our brain that porn affects.
Here is exactly why porn causes ED
Design #1 in our brains is about novelty. New females reward our reptilian brains. We love new women, new positions, new female bodies. We are designed to get bored with the same old same old.
Porn shows us all these women who are NEW to us. That affects our brain’s desire for NEW females. And makes the “old” females much less interesting. We become less sensitive to our woman from this.
This is why porn hurts us even if we just watch it, without masturbating to it. Porn affects our reptilian brains by exposing our brains to all these novel women. That desensitizes our brains.
Design #2 in our brains is about porn star expectations. Our brains are designed to desire and crave women who are very young, and very sexy, and who will do things that we desire.
These expectations collide with the real world. We can’t help it, we look at our woman and compare her to what we see the porn stars do. And we feel bad about our woman, our situation and “normal” real world sex.
Design #3 is about escalation. Our brains are designed to get off with sex. Normal real world sex gets us off in a certain way. Porn gets us off in a different way. And frequently, this leads to the same old porn not working so well anymore.
Warning: today’s porn is like today’s junk food — it affects the brain like sugar affects belly fat
Today’s porn is very much like concentrated sugary candy compared to a piece of natural fruit. Technology creates sugary candies and cakes and this triggers cravings for sugar and causes us to eat poorly.
With today’s porn, we see high speed videos of women and men doing different things and it’s like sugary junk food to our brain. We begin not getting off on it anymore and then we seek out more extreme forms of porn.
Why gay sex porn is so popular today with straight guys
Gay sex porn is popular with straight men because they have found that normal straight porn no longer works. Their brains are used to the straight porn and no longer respond the same way.
So a man escalates to other more extreme porn such as gay sex porn.
By the way, gay men who are into porn — guess what? They escalate to straight porn for the same reasons. Straight porn is “extreme” for gay men. But remember
Porn hurts men even if it doesn’t lead to escalation
Not every porn user will escalate to gay porn. Some escalate to bondage porn. Some to group sex porn. Or teenage porn.
And some don’t escalate at all.
Escalation is common but not universal. But even for men who don’t escalate to more extreme forms of porn, the porn they do watch causes desensitization all the same.
So those are the three “design issues” in our brains that cause porn to harm us and interfere with our having a great sex life.
If a guy writes to me, I ask if he uses porn and many guys with ED problems will say “yes but”.
Yes but I only use it once a week. Yes but I don’t masturbate to it. Yes but I use it only occasionally.
If you use porn, you should stop.
And here’s a way to recover your sensitivity and become the sexual man you were at 20 years old
I’m doing a workshop that will help you recover your function and become a total man with raging sexual confidence and super sensitivity. There are a few spots left as of this writing so go here to find out more.
Please feel free to comment or ask a question.
Please watch this quick video and leave your questions or comments. Thank you!
A lot of guys ask me, Matt what’s your biggest trick in the “get hard and stay hard” department so I thought I’d spell it out here.
I figure all guys get older and they think, ain’t it natural to lose male potency, have the occasional limp dick?
I used to think so but now I know better. It’s not natural. And you can be 90 and have a hard dick. And more importantly, you can be any age and have good strong erections and feel incredible sensation.
But let me get something out of the way about myself. Lots of guys say, how about them pills? They kinda work, so what’s the problem?
I don’t agree. I’m not saying they’re bad. It’s just that pills aren’t for me.
So I dumped all those pills and started getting hard naturally
I got rid of all my pills maybe 8 or 9 years ago. I am in my 50s and the only pills I take are supplements I buy off Amazon. I don’t take a single prescription medication and haven’t other than maybe an antibiotic once in a blue moon.
I’m healthy as a horse today and I think a reason I’m healthy is I don’t need pills from the doctor.
So even if those Viagra tabs had worked for me, I wouldn’t have taken them. They didn’t, I didn’t, and so it wasn’t an issue.
Turns out, those Viagra/Cialis/Levitra pills only “work” for 6 out of 10 guys…and they do NOT make you feel more sensation in your penis.
So here’s my life today. I get more booty than I ever did in my whole life. And I feel more than I ever did.
Booty call almost every morning and often at night too
This morning as usual my wife and I had sex and here I will sound like I’m bragging but I’m not. We have sex most mornings and it can be quick, like 15 minutes, or slow, like an hour or longer. I stay hard the entire time and the real point is this.
In the old days 10 minutes was a lot, but today 15 minutes is very short and an hour is often the case.
But it isn’t just that. Because…
What good is a hard cock if you aren’t feeling much?
It’s the sensations that I feel today that are a really important part of the story.
The sensations and feeling are off the charts. I never had that in my whole life until I learned this stuff I’m telling you about. I draw the pleasure up into my whole body and it’s like this orgasmic strength all through my body for 10, 20 30 minutes, whatever.
And this has led to something else. I always loved my wife but…
When we first met, I was all over my girl, like every girl I dated. I pawed her, we’d get down whereever we were, and I’d practically tear her clothes off. It was horny city 24 by 7.
But as our relationship matured, that kinda stopped. And although I’m a horndog, we’re doing it like twice a week. And that’s more than my married friends.
From loving her to that “tear off her clothes” feeling — the secret to forever love?
It isn’t that empty peck-on-the-cheek love.
For the last few years, since I discovered this crazy little exercise, we are at it like rabbits almost every day, in the mornings usually although sometimes in the late afternoon.
It’s what has made me firmly totally wildly in love with my wife and we’re together more than 20 years. I can’t get enough of her, and she’s very sexy and has a great bod and people say she looks younger. She’s shy about admitting it, but all this sex is keeping her younger. I’m convinced of it.
And it’s great for me. I grow hair faster. My cock seems bigger, honestly. I feel this testosterone surge all the time. I get semis constantly. It’s fantastic for my productivity in business, and I just beat other guys totally and love winning more than ever before.
But let’s get back to talking about hard cocks and how to get them
Here’s a key point: it’s not just about “performance.”
In fact, you can have the hardest dick in the neighborhood and what good is it if you feel nothing in it? I found in fact that a fairly soft hardon is better for real pleasure than a rock hard rigid rod you can hang a towel on. So I have a great hard-on with great feeling this morning as always.
In fact I draw the pleasure up into my whole body (what I call pleasure centering) and it’s like off the charts amazing. I can’t tell you how it is, it is just beyond words.
So enough about my bragging. Just wanted to tell you where I am today, ‘k?
Now how bad was it?
I lost my good hard erections and my sensitivity very early…
Alright, so I got my desensitization really early. Very early, very young, I was cruising the bookstore and I discovered pornography in the bookstore. I could actually buy this at age like 9 and I was a total nerd so I did.
I was wanking it already quite a lot, I can’t remember how often but sometimes 6 or 8 times a day.
Then a year or so later and we move to another part of L.A. and I meet this kid Duke. Duke’s got rich parents although his dad’s a total A-hole and even Duke is really a butt-head to be honest. Duke shows me his dad’s collection of diddlejuice videos — porn videos. Those were the days of big expensive VCRs and almost nobody had them but Duke’s dad had one.
And Duke and I would watch. And I’d wank to porn…video porn now…storing up images and wanking it later. (I was too scared to wank with Duke, although he told me he and his friends would circle jerk together in the basement…)
So years later…
She wrapped her lips over it, and looked up at me, on her knees with those baby blue eyes and lips wrapped tightly around my cock. She could of removed the chrome from a trailer hitch. She was good. And she made these sucking sounds with her lips going over my cock, and deep into her throat.
But Dr. Willie wasn’t up to the prescription. Not much anyway.
We finally did the deed but it wasn’t easy. And it wasn’t all that smokin’ either. And that was a good outcome for me in those days.
So I was one of the early victims of the criminal called desensitization. That serial killer of feeling and rock hard erections.
Why hasn’t your doctor told you about the real cause of bad erections, going soft and not feeling sensation?
Haven’t heard of it as the cause of erection problems, and premature ejaculation, and difficulty even having an orgasm? Hasn’t your doctor told you about desensitization?
It is THE cause of penis problems.
The big drug companies brainwash me, you and everyone else…
Now, all guys have an occasional problem I suppose. I used to. But never, not once, ever does this happen to me anymore. I can go and go, and then go again, and here’s why.
This crazy little exercise that brought back my hard-ons and restored my pleasure
I did this silly, crazy little exercise. I didn’t come up with it. I didn’t discover it. I stumbled on it and I’ll tell you how sometime but not now.
I figured out that wanking to porn was a big part of causing my desensitization. Duh. So I stopped. I replaced the wanking that was desensitizing with a crazy little exercise that increases sensitivity.
Hey if you’re going to wank, why not go forward rather than backwards?
And I stopped what was hurting my desensitization so I’d regain my sword with women, the sword I never really felt the way I should have.
Now here’s what happened…
Everything got really, really good. In the sex department and in every other area of my life. I was always good at making money but not good at keeping it. Now the money has just been flowing in. And life is so much easier. There is an ease to everything, even the bad stuff like aging parents and worrying about my kids…it’s all so much easier.
Anyway that’s my story. If you want this for yourself, watch this video in full.
The clitoris has over 8000 nerve endings.
More than any other organ in the human body, male or female.
Boys and girls start the same in the womb. Only later on as the baby develops in the mother does the boy acquire penis and testicles, the girl vagina and ovaries…
We start from the same material. The same clay…
Men are easily capable of orgasm and ejaculation then a rest…then maybe again. After awhile.
Women can have orgasm after orgasm. 10 orgasms in a row.
Lucky people, women in that way. And in this way too…because
Women have these secret pleasure places…
Yes, it’ not just the ones everyone already knows about.
For instance, women have a little patch of spongy tissue just inside their vagina and that’s the G-spot and it is extra special for some women.
It’s easy to get to and easy to help them get off with.
And deeper in there is another spot, the A-spot, that really delivers the goods.
The A-spot gets a woman to lubricate easily and gives her enormous pleasure…
Many women stop lubricating before or after menopause. The A-spot can get her nice and wet again. How wonderful is that!
And there is a secret of the clit that almost nobody knows…
Even most gynecologists get this all wrong
The clitoris is a huge organ…as big as a man’s penis actually! Yes, that little cute nub is actually as big as your penis, quite likely.
Wow. Women are amazing.
They have many pleasure places that men don’t have.
I’m in awe of every woman. Every woman is beautiful. We miss their beauty often because of our own hangups.
We’re so worried about our penis working, or about getting into her pants, that we fail to notice how gorgeous she is.
So let’s not do that anymore. Let’s see our woman for just a moment as the beauty she is. Just for a moment. The awe that she is gracing our world just now.
Are you in awe yet? Is she taking your breath away? This article is about just feeling for a moment the awe in a woman’s beauty…
Tell me how you feel — your thoughts. Are you awake to your woman’s beauty just now? Just for a moment? It feels really good…
“Matt, why doesn’t she ever ask for sex anymore?”
Many men write to me with this complaint and there is something they are *so* missing.
It has to do with laundry.
When I was single, I used to grab all my dirty clothes in a basket and trudge over to the laundry.
My building didn’t have a laundry. I would enter the coin laundry. It smelled of that weird combination of mustiness and soap.
And I’d lift the lids of the machines to make sure they were empty before tossing my laundry into three or four washers.
Then it was hurry and wait. Or else leave and come back and risk someone taking my stuff out and throwing it on the floor so they could use the washer (I had that happen).
Now I’m with Jodi.
And Jodi does my laundry. I’ve forgotten how to do laundry.
(And thankfully today we have a great washer and dryer right in our home.)
So the woman in my house does all the laundry. Fair?
Jodi doesn’t like cooking as much as I do, so I do most of that. And she can’t fix her computer worth a darn, so when the screen goes blank or the keyboard won’t work, she calls me and I fix it.
In a partnership, one of us is strong in one thing, and that makes the other weak. When we get together, the strong partner takes over a function, and the weaker partner can be relieved of what they aren’t good at and don’t enjoy.
So she doesn’t initiate…because you do it for her!
If you, the man, initiate all the time, she’ll stop initiating. Why should she? You’re doing that.
Mike stopped initiating. “I just got tired of being the only one who was asking for sex, Matt.”
It got a bit weird, says Mike. “Nothing happened for weeks and weeks. She didn’t seem to notice.”
Why do you want her to initiate sex anyway, I asked Mike.
But I know the answer, and so do you. Think about it.
Us guys love women to initiate sex…because it shows us that the woman *really* likes sex with us.
If she doesn’t initiate, how do you know she really wants you?
So that’s really the issue. Does she enjoy sex with you?
Does she want you?
If you didn’t initiate would she ask?
How long would it take?
What an interesting experiment. One you aren’t likely to try because you won’t want to risk finding out she never asks.
The nub of the reason she isn’t initiating is, therefore, that she doesn’t particularly love sex with you at this point.
Three reasons she doesn’t initiate sex with you
1. You pound away. Delayed ejaculation is what it’s called. It’s when you pound away and nothing happens. I’ll share with you why you don’t come in another post, and what to do about it.
2. You initiate all the time, so she’s learned she doesn’t have to. Use it or lose it — her skills at initiating with you are now rusty.
3. You aren’t really satisfying her.
Women are satisfied with sex in the long run only if the sex is both emotionally and physically satisfying.
It’s the emotionally and physically satisfying part that is key.
Oral sex may deliver a great orgasm, but it’s not emotionally satisfying like having your penis inside her.
Masturbation delivers an orgasm, but it isn’t as satisfying as oral sex to her.
When she doesn’t initiate, it often means that she isn’t really that thrilled with sex these days. And it means you want to make some changes.
She isn’t emotionally and physically satisfied.
Please leave a comment or question! That really encourages me when I know you’re following this stuff and are awake, lol.