women want a man who can be a man

I’m so upset that I thought I’d write this article that I’ve put off for a long time.

I’m upset because the tripe and garbage out there about what women “really want” is hurting men and hurting all of us.

So let’s set the record straight. I’ll do it by talking about Ross.

I was helping Ross (a composite student — I paraphrase here for brevity and use composites for convenience) find a girlfriend.

“Ross, are you still using porn?”

Ross said no, he had stopped. “I stopped and found things already started getting better.”

girl in bed

Men like Ross find that when they stop using porn and they stop porn fantasy, they begin looking at women differently. And the women look at them differently.

Women stop and check Ross out. “I had a woman yell ‘you’re hot’ from her car last night, it was cool!” And Ross told me about a waitress recently who “kept touching my shoulder and chatting me up when she didn’t need to. She was really attractive and I knew she wanted me to ask her out.”

Ross discovered the value of discontinuing porn and fantasy. Women are becoming more attracted to him. But now, he needs to undo a lot of what society has conditioned Ross to believe about women.

“What do you mean, Matt?” he asked me when I told him this.

So I thought I’d explain it here.

Let’s start out with the big myth…that  

You have to have money, a good job and good prospects to attract women

I told Ross, this is the worst myth of all.

Women love a guy with money. Of course, why wouldn’t they?

A doctor recently wrote in to me and said, he and his successful friends find women are attracted to them because they have money.

“I tell them that I’m a writer now, Matt,” he said. “That way I can tell if they like me, or are after me because I have money.”

Women can be super attracted to you if you have no money and no prospects. I told this to Ross and I proved it to him.

pretty oriental girl

What attracts women is a man who shows confidence. That’s the start and the end of it. Confidence attracts women. And you don’t need money to have confidence.

In fact, if you have money, you may be more confident because you have it. And women will find you more attractive because you are confident. 

But you can become just as confident even if you are poor and have no job. Guys get women all the time even when they have bad financial prospects, because they are confident guys.

And another myth is that

Women want men who are sensitive, caring, nice…

The attributes that women want in a husband and father include being kind to children, being a good provider, being faithful.

But the attributes that are most attractive to women are masculine, alpha male attributes.

They’re different.

In fact the attributes women say they want in a man are totally different from the attributes women actually want.

You can tell because women fall over themselves for the confident asshole, and leave the nice guy wondering what happened.

This is precisely why they say

Girls like bad boys

And it’s great girls, wonderful girls that are stunningly attractive, horny and faithful…they like “bad boys” too. They can’t help it. 

Because it’s not the bad they’re attracted to. It’s the confidence they’re attracted to. The man who doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks, who is just himself and looks women in the eye, lets them no what he wants and doesn’t care what they think.

That’s the man the women want.

girl in bed blonde

I told Ross some shortcuts I’ve discovered to being and acting confident without being an asshole. To other men and some women, these behaviors may make Ross seem uncaring, or insensitive. Maybe not nice.

But so what. Before I describe these shortcuts, let me go into the third horrible myth that

Men want sex more than women do, and sex is a way to reward men

Women love, love love sex. And maybe they enjoy it more than men do. They are capable of many orgasms and have more nerve connections for pleasure than men do in their genitals.

The difference with women is that the price of casual sex was much higher for women and biologically women are more wrapped up in the higher biological cost of sex. 

But nowadays, biology is meaningless due to birth control. Social conditioning and biology still impose this massive double standard on men.

But men don’t need to believe in this myth any longer. They can free themselves from it. And they can give women what the women really want.

A woman wants a man to act like a man, a man to overwhelm her with his masculinity and sweep her off her feet.

A man to give her the fucking she craves.

Most of my work is to help someone like Ross find a fantastic girlfriend rather than a chain of one night stands.

But knowing that women want and enjoy sex just as much as men do, and that men don’t need to buy women off in order for the woman to have sex, is very liberating for Ross and probably for all men once they understand this.

It is a key that unlocks the door to a stunning new lifestyle — even if you are “one woman” kind of man.

beautiful woman 

So anyway, Ross put my instructions into practice.

Note that Ross wasn’t actually more confident because of what I told him to do. But he was able to act more confident.

Women get wet and respond sexually to a man who acts confident…they can’t tell the difference between a man who is actually confident and one who acts confident

It’s a good thing too.

Of course, once Ross scores a few times, he’ll end up becoming more confident. And that will make it easier and easier.

If you want to become confident, you have to act confident. It’s that simple.

And it is working for Ross.

“They are all over me now,” Ross is reporting. “I already had a girl ask me out, and I have dates with two other hot girls that I met. One of them was on the street and we got into a conversation.”

Ross says that because of what I taught him, he has

Radar that picks up hot women without effort just by acting confident

 This radar gets hidden when men get too involved in:

1. Porn

2. Too much masturbation

3. Believing the tripe that is published and printed and put out about what women really want. This tripe is there because it is written by women and not by men who are willing to tell the truth.

man kissing woman

Not one man in 100 or 1000 even knows the truth about how to really attract women. The men who are “natural” at it know. And there are the PUAs, but they have their own problems.

Many pick up artists are terribly insecure and need to constantly pick up women in order to make themselves feel better about who they are.

The PUAs and the naturals can’t tell you what it really takes to appear confident and be the man that the women want. They are either oblivious to the truth, or they are acting out of their own insecurities.

No wonder I am angry. You can now understand why.

Nobody is telling men the truth!

You can be 100 pounds overweight and be massively attractive to women.

You can be poor as a churchmouse and get laid all you want.

What a woman wants is:

1. A man who will sweep her off her feet, and

2. Who acts confident in himself.

If you are looking for a great girlfriend you have to meet women first. With the right information rather than all the misinformation and lies, Ross has almost instantly displayed the confidence that overnight changes how women see him. And women are all over him without his having to “do” anything.

I’m doing a webinar on this method and I want to invite you. But before I do, I’m asking you to write one question you want answered. You can describe your situation and that would be helpful but be sure to ask a question.

I’ll take those questions into account and invite you to the webinar.

warmly

matt cook signature white background 

 

P.S. Remember, leave a question. Describe your story or situation if you want, that’s always helpful. I will use what you post and it’s public so use a nickname if you want to remain anonymous. And I’ll invite you to the webinar. Thanks!

 

 

How to choose pleasure and a happy life with full erections and maximum sensitivity

This article will be an eye opener for you if you’ve ever watched yourself do something that your higher self didn’t want you to do — but you felt powerless to stop yourself.

Now it’s all explained, and it will make you feel a lot better about your life and your behavior because it shows that it’s not your fault. You’ve been suffering because you are running programs that make you unhappy and nobody ever showed you that you had a choice in the matter!

So, one of the lessons here in these articles and in my courses is that we all run programs and that we are happiest if we choose our programs rather than just submit to being slaves to them.

young couple passionately kissing

Because nature doesn’t care if you’re happy. Nature wants you to stick your dick into more females and get them pregnant. Once that happens, nature isn’t all that interested in your happiness.

That’s one program anyway. The “stick your dick in as many pussies as possible and come inside them” program.

And it may be a good one sometimes, but not other times.

Another program can make you very happy for the rest of your life. And give you the most remarkable and amazing sex life you’ve ever experienced.

Choose your programs, and live a happy life.

And the main choice I see is what I call the 

Dopamine Track or the Oxytocin Track

I’ll talk about dopamine first.

You can’t live without dopamine.

Dopamine is the master hormone of want in the body.

Hungry? Dopamine makes you feel a desire for food. It makes you want that chocolate cake, or that ribeye steak, or those french fries.

Lusting after the new smart phone? That’s dopamine.

young couple kissing on ocean

See a pretty girl floating around your office? Dopamine makes you want her.

There are always other hormones involved, but dopamine is central to wanting something.

When you are under the influence of dopamine, your heart races a little, you sweat a little more, your blood pressure goes up,you hyperventilate just a little. You speed up.

This is the experience, whether you are conscious of it or not, when you shop online or in a store, when you really want a new car and you’re in the showroom.

Without dopamine, we wouldn’t have sex, we wouldn’t eat and we wouldn’t live

Dopamine pushes us into decisions and into doing stuff instead of thinking about doing stuff.

When you lust after your wife or girlfriend, there is a lot of dopamine involved.

When you lust after a new girl you first meet, that’s dopamine.

So dopamine is a wonderful thing and I love my dopamine!

However, living driven primarily by dopamine, what I call the Dopamine Track, does not create happiness.

The Dopamine Track makes us very dissatisfied and unhappy

Fred is a classic example. He was with Cindy for several years and reasonably happy. Then he met young Rachel at a party. Cindy was talking to her female friends, and Fred and Rachel practically bumped into each other and Fred says, “I knew I had to have her.”

That’s the Dopamine Track.

It’s want, want, want. Need to have, need to own, need to do.

That’s our friend Dopamine.

When Fred finally hooked up with Rachel, it was incredible. It felt incredible. It wasn’t like sex with Cindy which was kind of routine and boring. 

Sex with Rachel was amazing. And she was younger and tighter and everything like that.

sexy latina girl on couch

But that didn’t last. Not for long. Because here’s the problem with the Dopamine Track: When we get what we want, we aren’t happy.

Fred found after awhile that Rachel was clingy and annoying. Sometimes he’d look at her after he had come inside her, and wondered what he was doing with her.

It’s like when you are hungry and you see a big old tasty cake. You gorge on cake and you feel sick. 

The Dopamine Track makes you feel dissatisfied and unhappy after you’ve got what you want.

Then of course it sets in all over again. Fred was out looking for other women and he said to himself, what am I doing? Cindy is amazing. And I have Rachel on the side. Why am I looking at other women? How awful is that?”

This is the Dopamine Track. Always 

Looking for something new

Dopamine is all about novelty. If it’s not new, it’s not interesting.

New girls, new positions, new toys, new porn, new ways to get off.

And each time, the new is exciting because dopamine is exciting, but when we get what we want, it turns dull and now it’s time for the next thrill.

very sexy girl in bed

This is exactly what dopamine is supposed to do. Get us off our bottoms so instead of sitting around we go out and seek new pussy, or food, or something else we need or want.

But Dopamine creates constant dissatisfaction. We want, we get, and we are unhappy.

That’s why 

Dopamine is key in all addictive behaviors

Our brains have dopamine sensors and the sensors love getting bathed in dopamine. That’s part of what scientists call the “reward circuit” in the brain.

When we get into a behavior such as gambling, porn, or drugs, it’s all about constantly needing a fresh bath of dopamine on those brain sensors. We have to feel that dopamine or we get even more anxious, depressed and unhappy.

It always seems that the cure is whatever it is we are addicted to — the next bet, the next porn tube site, the next hit of free base.

It’s all the same to our brains — it’s an addiction that is actually an addiction to dopamine.

And all dopamine addiction is fixed the same way. Go cold turkey, handle the symptoms of things being flat, gray and boring…and eventually life turns colorful again.

But a gambler is always susceptible to gambling again. A drug user can return to the drug oh-so-easily.

four amazing athletic girls in bathing suits 

A porn user who has kicked porn can easily fall for porn again. Or it could be web cams, or having affairs. These are addictive behaviors when the dopamine kicks in and begins controlling us.

The Dopamine Track.

And the behaviors don’t just go away when we resist them successfully.

No, they are always there as a possibility.

The brain has these deep grooves in it, these nerve pathways deeply etched in the brain. These nerve pathways are always there — they fade away with less use, but they can easily be reactivated.

And the brain loves those addictions so much! 

The brain will always generate thoughts to bring back the addiction, whatever it is

“Oh, a little won’t hurt.”

“You’ve been so good, you should reward yourself.”

“Let’s just watch the porn and not masturbate to it.”

“I’ll just talk to her, I won’t try to go to bed with her.”

And a really good one:

“Now that I’ve cured myself of this addiction, let me test out how I’m cured.”

Testing is a huge perpetuator of the Dopamine Track. Our brain says, “let’s test, get hard masturbating a little, or watching a little porn, what’s wrong with that?”

A lot is wrong with that, but relapsing seems to be more common than not on the road to getting free from the Dopamine Track.

beautiful brunnette bust in black bra

Because we want to live our lives free from this. It is too controlling, too much like being ridden by the tiger. And it never satisfies for long, always puts us in a state of chronic dissatisfaction.

And for our friend Fred, it resulted in Cindy leaving him, and Fred taking one new girl to bed after the other, without any real connection with them and without any real happiness or love.

Fortunately, there is another track that we can live on and it is a sweet one. It’s the

Joy and pleasure of the Oxytocin Track

Oxytocin is the hormone that is found in our brains and in our testicles (and in women in their brains and in various other parts.)

Oxytocin is often called the “love hormone” but I would call it the “satisfaction hormone” because it makes you feel very satisfied with your life. 

It makes you feel very happy with your partner, and your children, and your mom and dad.

It makes you feel like you already have it all, that this is where you want to be, not somewhere else.

And most interesting of all is that

Oxytocin is tremendous for men’s erections

It makes erections last longer, come up quicker, and come back sooner after you ejaculate.

Guys all thing the major hormone for them is Testosterone. Testosterone is what makes a man a man, with a strong sex drive, muscles, lean and mean body, etc.

But Oxytocin is what makes a man feel happy and satisfied in his life.

What strikes me is that 

Oxytocin is the most amazing way to live because you feel such incredible pleasure

It makes sex the best thing in the whole world by a country mile.

It makes you want to have sex all the time, and it makes sex last and last.

And it makes the pleasure from sex equivalent with a little practice to a whole body orgasm that can last 30 minutes or an hour every time.

(Unless you want a quickie with her in which case 10 or 15 minutes…)

There is no more “I’m satisfied now what do we do next?”

Sex is never boring on the Oxytocin Track.

The problems couples have are not your problems anymore.

It is impossible for you to get bored with your partner. She is just more and more amazing all the time.

And in every other way, living on the Oxytocin Track takes the hungry want need and desperation out of life. You already have it all.

kissing black and white middle aged

Oxytocin helps cure depression. It makes anxiety melt away. It makes you love your family more. It makes you happy with life. It even makes you lose fat and eat less without effort.

You need both Oxytocin and Dopamine but one of the major benefits of the method and system I talk about in my courses is that your hormones get back into balance and you are no longer living on the Dopamine Track.

You can choose the Oxytocin Track and when you do, you will never look back. One of the best ways to do this is this way. Click here for a special offer only available until Saturday, January 4, 2014 midnight EST.

warmly

matt cook signature white background

 

 

P.S. Please also leave a comment or question here, the more involved you get, the quicker everything will get better and the better it is for other guys here to learn from you!

 

How to choose pleasure and a happy life with full erections and maximum sensitivity

This article will be an eye opener for you if you’ve ever watched yourself do something that your higher self didn’t want you to do — but you felt powerless to stop yourself.

Now it’s all explained, and it will make you feel a lot better about your life and your behavior because it shows that it’s not your fault. You’ve been suffering because you are running programs that make you unhappy and nobody ever showed you that you had a choice in the matter!

So, one of the lessons here in these articles and in my courses is that we all run programs and that we are happiest if we choose our programs rather than just submit to being slaves to them.

young couple passionately kissing

Because nature doesn’t care if you’re happy. Nature wants you to stick your dick into more females and get them pregnant. Once that happens, nature isn’t all that interested in your happiness.

That’s one program anyway. The “stick your dick in as many pussies as possible and come inside them” program.

And it may be a good one sometimes, but not other times.

Another program can make you very happy for the rest of your life. And give you the most remarkable and amazing sex life you’ve ever experienced.

Choose your programs, and live a happy life.

And the main choice I see is what I call the 

Dopamine Track or the Oxytocin Track

I’ll talk about dopamine first.

You can’t live without dopamine.

Dopamine is the master hormone of want in the body.

Hungry? Dopamine makes you feel a desire for food. It makes you want that chocolate cake, or that ribeye steak, or those french fries.

Lusting after the new smart phone? That’s dopamine.

young couple kissing on ocean

See a pretty girl floating around your office? Dopamine makes you want her.

There are always other hormones involved, but dopamine is central to wanting something.

When you are under the influence of dopamine, your heart races a little, you sweat a little more, your blood pressure goes up,you hyperventilate just a little. You speed up.

This is the experience, whether you are conscious of it or not, when you shop online or in a store, when you really want a new car and you’re in the showroom.

Without dopamine, we wouldn’t have sex, we wouldn’t eat and we wouldn’t live

Dopamine pushes us into decisions and into doing stuff instead of thinking about doing stuff.

When you lust after your wife or girlfriend, there is a lot of dopamine involved.

When you lust after a new girl you first meet, that’s dopamine.

So dopamine is a wonderful thing and I love my dopamine!

However, living driven primarily by dopamine, what I call the Dopamine Track, does not create happiness.

The Dopamine Track makes us very dissatisfied and unhappy

Fred is a classic example. He was with Cindy for several years and reasonably happy. Then he met young Rachel at a party. Cindy was talking to her female friends, and Fred and Rachel practically bumped into each other and Fred says, “I knew I had to have her.”

That’s the Dopamine Track.

It’s want, want, want. Need to have, need to own, need to do.

That’s our friend Dopamine.

When Fred finally hooked up with Rachel, it was incredible. It felt incredible. It wasn’t like sex with Cindy which was kind of routine and boring. 

Sex with Rachel was amazing. And she was younger and tighter and everything like that.

sexy latina girl on couch

But that didn’t last. Not for long. Because here’s the problem with the Dopamine Track: When we get what we want, we aren’t happy.

Fred found after awhile that Rachel was clingy and annoying. Sometimes he’d look at her after he had come inside her, and wondered what he was doing with her.

It’s like when you are hungry and you see a big old tasty cake. You gorge on cake and you feel sick. 

The Dopamine Track makes you feel dissatisfied and unhappy after you’ve got what you want.

Then of course it sets in all over again. Fred was out looking for other women and he said to himself, what am I doing? Cindy is amazing. And I have Rachel on the side. Why am I looking at other women? How awful is that?”

This is the Dopamine Track. Always 

Looking for something new

Dopamine is all about novelty. If it’s not new, it’s not interesting.

New girls, new positions, new toys, new porn, new ways to get off.

And each time, the new is exciting because dopamine is exciting, but when we get what we want, it turns dull and now it’s time for the next thrill.

very sexy girl in bed

This is exactly what dopamine is supposed to do. Get us off our bottoms so instead of sitting around we go out and seek new pussy, or food, or something else we need or want.

But Dopamine creates constant dissatisfaction. We want, we get, and we are unhappy.

That’s why 

Dopamine is key in all addictive behaviors

Our brains have dopamine sensors and the sensors love getting bathed in dopamine. That’s part of what scientists call the “reward circuit” in the brain.

When we get into a behavior such as gambling, porn, or drugs, it’s all about constantly needing a fresh bath of dopamine on those brain sensors. We have to feel that dopamine or we get even more anxious, depressed and unhappy.

It always seems that the cure is whatever it is we are addicted to — the next bet, the next porn tube site, the next hit of free base.

It’s all the same to our brains — it’s an addiction that is actually an addiction to dopamine.

And all dopamine addiction is fixed the same way. Go cold turkey, handle the symptoms of things being flat, gray and boring…and eventually life turns colorful again.

But a gambler is always susceptible to gambling again. A drug user can return to the drug oh-so-easily.

four amazing athletic girls in bathing suits 

A porn user who has kicked porn can easily fall for porn again. Or it could be web cams, or having affairs. These are addictive behaviors when the dopamine kicks in and begins controlling us.

The Dopamine Track.

And the behaviors don’t just go away when we resist them successfully.

No, they are always there as a possibility.

The brain has these deep grooves in it, these nerve pathways deeply etched in the brain. These nerve pathways are always there — they fade away with less use, but they can easily be reactivated.

And the brain loves those addictions so much! 

The brain will always generate thoughts to bring back the addiction, whatever it is

“Oh, a little won’t hurt.”

“You’ve been so good, you should reward yourself.”

“Let’s just watch the porn and not masturbate to it.”

“I’ll just talk to her, I won’t try to go to bed with her.”

And a really good one:

“Now that I’ve cured myself of this addiction, let me test out how I’m cured.”

Testing is a huge perpetuator of the Dopamine Track. Our brain says, “let’s test, get hard masturbating a little, or watching a little porn, what’s wrong with that?”

A lot is wrong with that, but relapsing seems to be more common than not on the road to getting free from the Dopamine Track.

beautiful brunnette bust in black bra

Because we want to live our lives free from this. It is too controlling, too much like being ridden by the tiger. And it never satisfies for long, always puts us in a state of chronic dissatisfaction.

And for our friend Fred, it resulted in Cindy leaving him, and Fred taking one new girl to bed after the other, without any real connection with them and without any real happiness or love.

Fortunately, there is another track that we can live on and it is a sweet one. It’s the

Joy and pleasure of the Oxytocin Track

Oxytocin is the hormone that is found in our brains and in our testicles (and in women in their brains and in various other parts.)

Oxytocin is often called the “love hormone” but I would call it the “satisfaction hormone” because it makes you feel very satisfied with your life. 

It makes you feel very happy with your partner, and your children, and your mom and dad.

It makes you feel like you already have it all, that this is where you want to be, not somewhere else.

And most interesting of all is that

Oxytocin is tremendous for men’s erections

It makes erections last longer, come up quicker, and come back sooner after you ejaculate.

Guys all thing the major hormone for them is Testosterone. Testosterone is what makes a man a man, with a strong sex drive, muscles, lean and mean body, etc.

But Oxytocin is what makes a man feel happy and satisfied in his life.

What strikes me is that 

Oxytocin is the most amazing way to live because you feel such incredible pleasure

It makes sex the best thing in the whole world by a country mile.

It makes you want to have sex all the time, and it makes sex last and last.

And it makes the pleasure from sex equivalent with a little practice to a whole body orgasm that can last 30 minutes or an hour every time.

(Unless you want a quickie with her in which case 10 or 15 minutes…)

There is no more “I’m satisfied now what do we do next?”

Sex is never boring on the Oxytocin Track.

The problems couples have are not your problems anymore.

It is impossible for you to get bored with your partner. She is just more and more amazing all the time.

And in every other way, living on the Oxytocin Track takes the hungry want need and desperation out of life. You already have it all.

kissing black and white middle aged

Oxytocin helps cure depression. It makes anxiety melt away. It makes you love your family more. It makes you happy with life. It even makes you lose fat and eat less without effort.

You need both Oxytocin and Dopamine but one of the major benefits of the method and system I talk about in my courses is that your hormones get back into balance and you are no longer living on the Dopamine Track.

You can choose the Oxytocin Track and when you do, you will never look back. One of the best ways to do this is this way. Click here for a special offer only available until Saturday, January 4, 2014 midnight EST.

warmly

matt cook signature white background

 

 

P.S. Please also leave a comment or question here, the more involved you get, the quicker everything will get better and the better it is for other guys here to learn from you!

 

Wow this is going to be big

This is kind of in response to guys telling me,

“Hey Matt, I tend to not be able to keep things going the way I want to. I just give up, or I have a relapse, or I don’t keep on the path I’ve set for myself.”

If this is you then don’t give up.

You’re trying to use self-discipline and that doesn’t work.

Self discipline is always in short supply

Because self discipline calls for willpower…and willpower doesn’t last very long. It wears thin real fast.

So if you haven’t been able to get where you want to be yet, perhaps it’s because you’re trying to rely upon discipline and willpower.

very sexy blonde girl in underwear

And they don’t really work.

What works instead is to

Build a habit of success

Habits are continuously being formed.

Good habits and bad ones.

You just do something for a short while, and the brain cells required to do that thing start with very “intense” brain power required, but quickly move to “more automatic and less intense” brain power required brain cells. 

Remember when you learned to drive? You would sweat and it was tense and so difficult you’d feel drained when you got out of the car.

Now that you know how to drive, you magically get out of the car and don’t even remember how you drove there!

The brain cells required at first were the very intense, high energy ones. But once you learned how to drive, the “easier” brain cells took over, the ones requiring less energy and less conscious thought.

You’ve made how to drive into a habit.

my fantasy girl

Same thing with sex, and everything to do with that. You can build a habit of successful sex, wonderful sex, sex that will curl your toes and hers too…

And once you do that, you won’t ever have a problem again.

It requires you to fix desensitization and learn some new habits.

That means building and reinforcing the habit every day

What you want is to build a habit of success. So you can begin using that habit to guide you every day, every week, without having to think about it.

This brings me to what I’m working on with the publishing company, Calworth Glenford. 

I will be able to talk about it shortly. Watch your email for the details. 

I’m thinking this will be the biggest thing that we’ve ever done. 

warmly,

matt cook signature white background

How long before my dick is hard and I can have great sex?

 

Here’s how to determine how long it may take to recover your full male performance 

.

Any Idea how long the process takes ie from dead to normal Im going to quit viewing all porn and go back to reading non porn mags at night.

No wife anymore she passed away fom cancer over a year ago, but no lady friends either.

I need a lady in my life and sure can’t get one like this.

 

Any and all help will be appreciated.

Thanks

“Jim”

.

I get a lot of emails every day and posts and Jim’s stands out for being super clear. “Help, I’m willing to do what it takes, but how long will this go on?”

In general 

The longer you’ve had the problem the longer it will take to fix it

However, if you’ve had a problem for 10 years, it won’t take 10 years to fix.

It may take weeks or months. It usually does not take years. Often it can be loads better in 3 or 4 weeks, and totally better in months.

I’ll tell you what the variables are so you can judge your own situation.

If you had this as a young man, it will take longer to get over it

The worst cases are for guys who discovered porn when they were boys. Some as young as 5 or 6.

It is a myth of course that boys and girls don’t have sexual feelings even at a young age. 

I can clearly remember playing outside when I was probably 5 or 6 and having sexual feelings.

girl lying down

And I began masturbating and using porn even before puberty. 

It took me longer to recover from erectile dysfunction and sexual problems because I got into this very early.

But the fact is that

If the first pussies you saw were on video, you really have to work hard to undo the damage

Young men today, say under about 30 years old, are really in a sucky situation. They grew up masturbating to video porn.

I didn’t have much video porn growing up, so the porn I used was less intense than video porn.

But if I had grown up with a lot of video porn, I’d have been in much worse trouble.

Video porn, especially today’s tube sites and cam sites, have thousands of women (see the earlier post 1000 Vaginas) and they desensitize the brain much worse and the damage takes much longer to fix.

The reason for this is that our early sexual experiences set up the first nerve pathways in our brain for enjoyment of sex.

Further sexual adventures deepen these early pathways.

If our early experience was with 1000 vaginas on a computer screen (or penises, or whips, or whatever it is, everything’s out there) then we will be missing the nerve pathways for healthy, sensitizing sex with a real woman and a real pussy. That just won’t excite our cock and get it hard for very long.

And this is not “all in your head” either — it’s real, physiological, an addiction that is actually far worse than addiction to heroin or freebase.

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So if you lack those early pathways for real women, you will have to work much harder and your recovery will take far longer.

But what about middle aged and older guys?

Yes it takes longer to recover if you have health problems

The most common problems guys have is symptoms of:

  • high blood pressure
  • overweight
  • acid relux
  • snoring
  • asthma
  • bowel and gut problems
  • depression and anxiety

 I see some heads nodding, guys saying, “yeah I have all those things!”

Well, the news here is, you CAN recover and have great sex even with those health problems. 

(I found that one thing super helpful is to get over these problems by naturally raising your testosterone levels. This system of raising your T naturally doesn’t involve drugs, expensive supplements or anything like that. I put it into a 4 hour course T Rewind that you can get and that will help you over these health issues.)

But if you have those health issues, the good news is, they don’t really stop recovery in most cases. I have found that

Guys who have major trauma, surgeries or procedures will take a bit longer to recover

 

Transplants, heart attack, cancer treatment…the docs do NOT do a good job at all of warning guys.

All major procedures on men should carry a warning: will make your erections soft or non-existent, may remove your sex drive, may hurt your ability to have sex for months or years.

swimming man and woman

Fortunately, the methods that I have outlined in my courses work for guys who have had major surgeries. These methods (which I’ll summarize at the end of this article) all work for getting rid of desensitization.

Because

Desensitization is the real culprit: fix desensitization and your erectile problems get better

This was discovered quite a long time ago. Before the drug companies realized they could collect a tax every time a guy wanted to have sex. Viagra was the first, but then the “me too” drugs came in, basically doing the same thing. It amounts to a tax on sex…so naturally they convince men they “need” this.

The tax is around $10 and the pills kind of work, or really work, for about 60% of men. They do not work for the other 40%, and they also have a terrible side effect —

The ED pills often make sensitization worse

So they are a treatment that makes the problem worse and many guys find that after a few years, the pills no longer work at all.

Plus, the ED pills don’t bring back the pleasure. They don’t bring back the sensitivity. They don’t make you feel more than you do.

They often make you feel less.

So if you’ve been down this road of the pills, and they’ve stopped working, its’ time to

Get serious about fixing desensitization, the cause of male performance problems.

When you fix your desensitization, you will get good erections that last a long time. And you won’t grind away, thrusting in and out with little feeling.

No, you’ll feel more than you have for 20 years or 30 years, maybe more than ever before (I feel more today than I recall even when I was a teenager.)

brunette white shirt cleavage small

But you have to stop believing that there is a shortcut. The path is clear but it does take your commitment.

1. Stop masturbation for awhile

2. Stop porn for good.

3. See if you can’t give up the pills for a bit (the ED pills I mean.)

4. Stop fantasy as best you can

5. Go through the “flatline” withdrawal stage

6. Emerge on the other side with morning erections again and the ability to love and make love

And the essential part is, if you have a woman, to spend all the time possible cuddling, kissing, holding hands, naked together, as that will build up Oxytocin and speed up your recovery.

You can be like this man:

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I’ve been following your advice for maybe a month now and have been practicing Karezza for maybe two months.

The member is working better then it ever has before.

My wife, who says she doesn’t enjoy Karezza, is up for intercourse ANYTIME and has taken to seducing me if we go more then a day without having intercourse.

This is very confusing but what the heck, it’s very wonderful too! I think the concept you teach regarding focusing on your self was a game changer for us.

My wife is very generous and really knows how to give pleasure.

Now I just relax into it and let her know what a delightful lover she is and how much I enjoy our sexual relationship and how happy I am with our new love life and her.

She’s 55 and I’m 66.

We’ve been together for 29 years.

I can’t speak for her but my half of our love life is better than anything I’ve ever experienced before. So good that I feel guilty about feeling so happy!

The sensitivity level of my penis is higher then it has ever been before and yes I get erections too just thinking about my wife.

I don’t do any porn and don’t masterbate at all any more.

I have also asked my wife to touch me VERY gently when she touches my penis, she has made penis touching into an art form, kind of like OM ing.

Well, I guess I’ve taken up enough of your time telling you how wonderful my new found love life is. I’m looking forward to more of your classes, the few that I have seen so far have been life changers.

–Senior from Minnesota

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The big ingredient in this is always going to be building up Oxytocin. Oxytocin is the true hormone that builds love and erections and great sex. I’ll have more on that in another article.

And in the meantime, the publishing company just caved in. We’ve had so many folks who complained and said they couldn’t watch the webinar due to schedules and so forth, and they’ve opened it up just for perhaps today. Go here to watch the “From Dead Down There To Raging Sexual Confidence” webinar while we take advantage of this short reprieve.

Meanwhile, write out your situation or question and let’s all learn from each other.

warmly

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